The Jro Brand of comedy


BBC News: Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross suspended

You wouldn't think that in a period of time that included finally getting to 100 days of no alcohol and the NFL coming back to London, that the focus of this blog entry would be something that occurred in the news. But I have been so appalled by the lack of moral integrity shown regarding the recent Russell Brand Radio 2 show, hosted with the unoriginal Jro, Jonathan Ross. This situation represents everything that is wrong with this country... it's full of retards.

And no, I'm not condemning this broadcast like seemingly every other fuckwit in this country. I am appalled that a funny, and largely unoffensive show as this, can not only become headline news in a time of economic catastrophe, but it can also command the attention of both the prime minister and the leader of the opposition as well. What damage has actually been caused here? Has Andrew Sachs been offended? Probably. Big fucking deal. Is it going to kill him? Is it going to negatively impact his life in any way, shape or form? No. No one would even know about this show, or have heard it unless Sachs decided to write in and complain, and create a huge furore. If he was actually offended by what was being said, then he wouldn't have errupted every media souce he could to gain as much publicity about the show as possible. If what was said was actually embarressing to him, he would have wanted it to remain as obsolete in the public eye as possible.

And do you know how many complaints were received about the show at the time it was broadcast? 2, that's how many. And that was for swearing, it wasn't even related to what was being said. It took 9 days for Sachs to escalate the issue to headline news, by which time of course the BBC had removed the shows podcast. So of the 1,585 people who chose to complain that day, and the 10,000+ who decided to complain the next day, how many could have actually heard the broadcast? Seeing as only 2 people compained at the time of broadcast, I would incinuate very few. So instead, this PR stunt conducted by Andrew Sachs has become headline news for multiple days now, and as the image above suggests, Brand and Ross have been suspended. For what? For conducting a very funny and largely unoffensive radio broadcast.

And if all this focus of the nations media didn't demonstrate why this country is going down the shitter, both the PM and the leader of the opposition, in search of votes no doubt, during a time of economic crisis, have taken time out of the schedule to publicly address this whole situation. A Sachs PR stunt. Because that's all this is. A PR stunt. Had you ever heard of Andrew Sachs before all of this? Me neither. If this was really anything else, then Sachs would have let the fact that very few people heard the broadcast, remain so. If it was so offensive, he wouldn't have urged the focus of every media source in the country onto the show. And had Sachs actually found the messages so offensive, would he have not complained at the time they were made? Rather than waiting until 4 days after the show was broadcast, when the press was contacting him about the show, and he realised he could get some publicity over it. It's an absolute fucking joke that in a time like this, this is the main headline news, and the PM has even felt the need to get involved.

Now unlike the 10,000+ people who felt the need to complain without hearing the show (as opposed to the 2 who did complain when they heard it), I have made the effort to search out a copy of the show. And I've actually listened to it, so feel I actually have the grounds to have an opinion. If anyone can tell me, how exactly this show will negatively affect Mr.Sachs, I'd love to hear it. Because very few people have actually listened to the show, yet tens of thousands have complained, I'm guessing that most of the people reading this blog, won't have heard the show either. The BBC may no longer be providing it for download, so I'll add a copy here. The first phone call which has got Brand and Ross suspended occurs at about 40:40. The issue is then resumed at 01:18:00, so have a listen. Then please get back to me with the justification that this is more important than the financial crisis.

Click here

It's seriously an absolute joke. This issue represents everything that is retarded with this damn country. And it can't have killed Sachs as you'd think it had done by the reaction because he still seems fine to make statements about the whole issue. It hasn't killed anyone. The people offended by the show are the ones who haven't actually heard it. What a retarded country this is.

And with Gordon Brown making this complaint, "becoming one of the 10,000" as he put it, I would like to address him. How, Gordon, at a time when housing repossessions are up 71% on this time last year, do you have time to be listening to a 90-minute long radio show. Then finding the time to personally complain? Especially in an era supposedly void of boom and bust, this must be an overwhelmingly shocking crisis. And how, in the same period as housing repossessions are soaring in the country you lead, are you allowing BP to announce quarterly profits of $10 billion? Should this not be more of a worry to you than a couple of young guys having a harmless laugh on a radio show? A labour government, sitting idly by listening to the radio, as the rich get richer, and the poor get turfed onto the streets. This is why I'm leaving this damn country. Somewhere along the way, this place got really fucked up. Somehow, we went from being the greatest country in the world, to being a corrupt laughing stock.

Anyway, that was a cheery way to start this blog. At least show some appreciation for the title though. That's genius! The Jro Brand of comedy! As in comedy I like, but at the same time, Jro (as in Jonathan Ross) and Brand (as in Russell Brand)... The Jro Brand of comedy! I should get a fucking award for that kind of innovation. I'm not one to brag (that's a lie), but that's genius!

Wembley stadium Onto things you might actually expect to be in this blog, the NFL came to Wembley on Sunday baby! Do you ever get the feeling, that something just isn't meant to be? Last year at the Giants - Dolphins game, I got a good video (considering the camera I was using), or a rare thing: An Eli Manning rushing touchdown. So this year, with my new camera, I was determined to get a good video of another touchdown. And I would have had it early on in the game. I got the snap, I got the QB drop-back, I got the pass, I got the reception, and at the moment the receiver was about to cross into the endzone... some jackass a few rows in front raises his arm and starts cheering, so at the point of touchdown, I have some idiots arm between my camera and the player. I got a feeling at that point that it wasn't going to be my day. Next, the spot of the ball was quite far from the endzone at my end. I don't think even in the red-zone yet, but I get a feeling that this next play is going to the house. So as I'm turning on my camera, and just about to zoom in and point, the ball snaps. I just don't get my camera there on time, and guess what, an awesome touchdown pass to the back of San Diego Chargers huddle at Wembley in London the endzone. A bit later on, I get a similar feeling; this one is going to the house. Not to be outdone twice, I reach for my camera again. Drop-back, pass... touchdown Chargers!!! Finally I got my touchdown video. Wait. Flag on the play. It gets pulled back for a penalty (although you can't tell that on the video so I could blag it). Finally I get an actual touchdown on video. A 1-yard full-back dive. Not exactly an enthralling play to watch. But at least it's a touchdown I suppose. Even now, 3 days after the game, I'm still pissed about that guy getting his fat arm in the way of my first touchdown. It was perfectly filmed at full-zoom to make, what would have been, an awesome video. Some things I guess, just aren't meant to be. I'll add a compilation of my videos from that game to the videos page once I've got round to making it. Other than all those frustrations it was an awesome match though.

Saintsation cheerleaders on the big screen at Wembley in London It was the 3rd NFL game I've been to, but the first I would actually call a good game. It was a thriller, culminating with the Chargers launching a hail-Mary with 00:01 left on the clock, trailing 32-37. They didn't get it, but it was a high-scoring adrenaline-filled game. Last year at Wembley, it was a miserable match between the Dolphins and Giants. My only other game was seeing the Seahawks lose at home to the 49ers in a damn monsoon. That was also a miserable affair, so at least I've been to a good NFL game now. My highlight this year though was before the game even kicked off. The Saints cheerleaders lined up in front of the tunnel. The pyro was all set-up ready for the big Saints entrance. Everyone is focused on the tunnel expectantly. Then suddenly, the Saints players come charging out... just out of the wrong tunnel. The cheerleaders and the pyro were set up in one place. The players ran out from the wrong place. And it had to be wrong, because they had to run around a damn stage to get onto the pitch. I find that hilarious. Of all the days and days of planning how to make this such a huge event, with the pyro all set-up and ready, and the players run out the wrong tunnel! San Diego Chargers vs New Orleans Saints at Wembley in London Someone should be getting fired for that one. It was pretty hilarious though. An awesome game. If the game in Seattle in 3 weeks is that good, I'll be a happy man!

(The photos here are a few of those that I took. I'll probably add them all to the photos page when I have a chance.)

Some more good news I had recently; right after I wrote the last blog in fact, is that there's finally been some progress regarding Icesave. They're finally going to launch the compensation scheme on the 03rd November, so there is now a chance, maybe a 50/50 chance, that I can get my money back before I leave for Canada. To quote the FSCS: "...the first payments are scheduled to start in the second week of November. We expect to offer compensation to the vast majority of retail depositors in November." It's one of those situations where I'm hoping that I'm in the lucky half of people who get chosen first, where as in fact, I'll be in the unlucky half who get there money back after I fly out on November 19th. I can see it already. Whenever it's a 50/50 chance, I always get the wrong-end of the stick in things like this.

Take the job I have this Winter for example. I was told on the phone, that I was the first person interviewed for that season. So you'd think that I'd be inline for staff accomodation right? Wrong. That would be too easy, and that's not my style. If I'd got staff accomodation, I'd have everything for this trip planned, booked and done, and I'd just be counting the days until lift-off. But these things just don't happen to me. God doesn't make things easy for me. Everything has to be done on a knifes-edge. So now I try and arrange accomodation myself. But this long process is putting everything else on hold until I can get it done, so I might miss out on all the other things I need to be booking, because they are dependent on having accomodation confirmed. Going to Whistler, for example. I can't do that if I don't have accomodation booked. I won't have the time. So I now risk missing out on accomodation etc. in Whistler, because I can't afford to book it until I have my accomodation in Invermere sorted. I almost just laugh now, because I know, that if something like this is 50/50, I always get the bad 50. That's how I already know I won't be one of the lucky people who gets their money back in the first week of November. And I think I knew I wouldn't be getting staff accomodation either. It just wouldn't be me if things were made easy and went as they were supposed to. But you know something; as much as it stresses me out, I wouldn't have it any other way. When I do things, it's always interesting. It's never easy, never fun, and never stress-free. But it's always interesting. Even with things outside of my control, to do it the easy way, it just wouldn't be my style.

So right now I'm trying to get accomodation sorted. And arranging accomodation isn't the problem. At least it isn't yet, I haven't even got around to that yet. What the problem is, is trying to contact people to live with. Email's great in that it's delivered instantly. But when you're trying to arrange things with people in Australia, they sleep when you're awake, and they're awake when you're asleep. So only one email is sent a day. And that's a pretty slow way of doing things. I've added people to MSN, but they're never online much either. Probably for the same problem: I'm asleep when they're awake, and they're asleep when I'm awake. It's making things incredibly slow. I have 3 weeks today, until I fly-out. And right now, it's not even looking likely that I'll have accomodation sorted by then. But then if it was, that just wouldn't be my style. If I'd have got staff-accomodation as I should, I would be sitting here, counting down from 21 until I fly out. But that just wouldn't be my style. It always happens the hard-way.

I can get climatised though. We have snow! In England in October! That's not normal. And admittedly it was short-lived and didn't settle. But still! Snow in October! And as I detailed why in the last blog, I'm loving it in my shorts, and not feeling a bit of cold. I'm climatising good and proper!

Atlantic Thermohaline Circulation One inaccurate belief that people in this country seem to have, is that global warming will make the UK like the Mediterranean. And maybe that's why people choose to ignore it: They selfishly want a warmer climate. But most people don't realise that in reality, the UK could become a significantly colder climate as the Atlantic Thermohaline Circulation shuts down (I admit I had to look up how you spell that). And I wonder if snow in October is an indicator of such a consequence, because it seems pretty rare to me. Now I'm nice and climatised, and love cold weather, so it's no big deal to me. But most of the people who drive ½ a mile rather than walk it, because it's too cold to walk... do they realise that by driving they could potentially be contributing to the cooling of the UK, rather than heating is as most seem to believe? Would they still drive if they did know? Having spent a year in Nova Scotia, supposedly a similar climate to what the UK could become if theories are to be believed, I can verify that if you think England is cold... it might be a bit of shock. I wonder how many people know that. Bring on the Winter though baby! I hate hot weather, so I'm loving the snow.

The last blog I wrote, I was pretty damn depressed when I wrote it. That was because of the damn diet that I was on. And I said during that blog, that no matter what, I was going to stick to it for a week. And I did. And to a certain degree it was successful. I was losing weight at a healthy pace. But this really wasn't my goal. I'm happy with my weight. My aim was to lose fat whilst maintaining the muscle I have, so just losing weight isn't enough. For me to view this diet as being successful, I need to be lowering my body-fat percentage significantly as well. So despite the weight loss, I wasn't loweing my body fat % enough to justify this diet. I was losing too much muscle, it was too damn expensive to eat those foods, but worst off, I felt horrible all week. I was light-headed, I was depressed, I was having alternating stages of energy then struggling to remain conscious. And for the limited results I was getting, it just wasn't worth it. It was like I was on my damn period or something. And because my mind wasn't functioning properly, I was really struggling to do anything productive at a time, just 3 weeks until I leave, when I really need to be productive. So as of this morning, this diet is officially over. It's similar to one I've done in the past. And over a long period it was very successful. But trying to translate this to a 3-week crash diet; it just wasn't working. I'm going to keep the increased cardio in my workouts until I leave. And just because I'm not on a specific nutrition plan now, it doesn't mean that I'm going to start eating crap. I'm going to eat healthily, and exercise regularly. It won't be enough to get me into good shape by the time I leave for Canada. But then that's my fault for being too ill-disciplined throughout the Summer. But the way I've felt for the last week, I'd rather feel healthy and normal again and be carrying a little excess fat, than be light-headed, wanting to vomit and feeling hungry at the same time, like I was last week. In a time I need my brain to be functioning well, it just wasn't worth it. I'm eating humble pie a little by going back on what I said. But for the limited results that I was getting, it just wasn't worth it.

As I mentioned earlier, something else that might impact on my health, is that I'm now free to drink again having finally... finally got to 100 days with no alcohol. I don't plan on drinking anytime before getting to Canada, but that doesn't mean that I won't. The leash is now off, but at least I made it to 100. And what a shit 100 days it was. Life is rubbish when you're sobre! This is day 102, and the count is still going. It was a long 100 days! Probably because I actually remember it all. Life's much better when you don't remember it. That way you can just make up in your head what you actually did.

Though I hope I don't get too drunk in Canada that I do actually remember it this time. My whole life has been planning for tomorrow. I was thrown into education at age 4, and from that point to this, my whole life has been planning for tomorrow. And for most people, a career is all about planning for tomorrow. Building a pension so when you can retire, you can live in finacial security. But I don't look at things in that way. When you get to retirement age, or if you get to retirement age (a lot can kill you on the way), you're at the point where you really can't do many of the things you could when you were young. You have the time and the freedom to finally do anything you want to... but you're just too old. That is why for me, now is the time to live. Now is the time I start fogetting about tomorrow and live for today. And when I get on that plane in 3 weeks, I have no return ticket, and I am leaving: To live. Could I run up mountains when I retire, like I can now? No. Would I still have the adventurous spirit in me at that age to want to? I don't know. I am at the peak of my physical ability in my life. Maybe even a little bit past it. I won't be able to do the things in 10 years, that I can now. And people expect me to start a career? To sit in an office all day? No chance. If I fuck-up my life enough, that should I live to retirement age, I have to work until I die, then so be it. At least I will know that I lived when I had the opportunity. When I was still young enough in both mind and body to make the most of it. That is my motivation to do what I'm doing. And I often look at people, and I think to myself, "This person spent their whole life... their whole life, preparing for the future. Preparing for tomorrow. But somewhere along the way, they forgot that tomorrow, at some point has to become today. And now it's too late." For me, I have been living for tomorrow ever since I was born. When I step on that plane in 3 weeks, that is the time, the significant indicator, that for me, today has arrived. No longer does tomorrow matter. And I will live for today until I no longer have the resources to do so. I hope I can be gone for 5 years. That is my plan. If I only last 6 months, then so be it. Having blown the savings I have in the space of 6 months, you better believe I lived for today. If I can make it last for 20 years... for 30 years. Hell, even for the rest of my life, then that I will do. All I know, is that I'm getting out of here to start living. To break out the demonic system the people seem to live by: Born, educate, work, retire, die. Like I said, it may not last. But at least I'll know that I tried to live. At least I'll know that for just 6 months, I actually lived for today.

My whole philosophy on life can be summed up to one simple goal. When, one day, I'm laying on my death bed whenever that may be, I want to be able to look back on my life and be proud. I want to look back on my life and know that I lived it my way. There's no blueprint of how you're supposed to live your life, so how other people think I should have lived my life is irrelevant to me. But for me personally, to be able to look back over my life in my final minutes, and be proud of the way I lived it, that is my whole philosophy on how I live. And you know something, if I spent my whole life living for tomorrow, living the typical life plan, living in an office, then I don't think that when that time comes to look back over my life, that I could be proud of it. That's why I'm getting out of here, because to live life the way I see it, you can't do that in one place. For you, that might be how you want to live, but for me, that's not how I see the blueprint. Getting out of here, this trip, this is the most important thing I've ever done. And if it fails, and I come back after 6 months having not lived, but restricted by my resources to be bound to an office for eternity, I won't be able to look back and be proud. My life would be over to me. I'd best hope that I get accomodation sorted out ok then eh!

Look at what I found the other day!:

Jethro Williams bald
I forgot that picture even existed! This is me before tour this year, after I'd shaved my head but hadn't got round to trimming my beard yet. I just thought that was a funny picture. It shocked me when I first opened it. I forgot that I once looked like that, even if it was only for a couple of hours.

There's been one major change to this website since I last wrote, and that is the new forum has been implemented. No one has posted on it yet, but it's there. Now there's kind of an ulterior motive for leaving this until one of the last things mentioned in this blog: I'm hoping people won't read it. I have sworn to myself, that in these blog entries, regardless of the consequences, that as long as I am keeping these blogs, I will be honest and truthful, and I won't leave anything relevant out. There was a problem I had with the last forum; no one wrote in it. So to combat that problem, I have a plan: I'm going to create 3 alter-egos. 3 characters of my imagination who will post in the forum, and make it look like people do actually look at this site. That way when visitors do look at the forum, they will be conned into thinking that loads of other people are also on this website. I'm only admitting this because I've sworn that everything in these blogs will be full and will be accurate. The rest of the website I might fill with bullshit, but these blogs, they will tell the truth. Now I'm assuming that no one will actually get this far into the blog, so if you're reading this, you're fucking up my system a little. But I said I'll be honest, and I will be. Once I've created them, I'll write in a blog what these alter-egos are called, so if you're somehow dedicated enough to read to the end of these blogs, then you'll know. If you're that dedicated then I think you have a right to know, and we can laugh at all the other people who believe that people actually go on the forum, together. But that's why I left this until the end of the blog. Because I'm hoping that no one reads it. But the new forum looks the shit! It's all shiny and everything. A lot better that the previous one looked!

The other thing related to this website of note, is that Google seems to think that it now has 1,150 pages indexed. It doesn't yet, but this is usually a sign that more pages will be indexed, so before long I'll have a hell of a presence on Google! Most of these 1,150 pages will be from the photo gallery, but it's still good. I haven't actually written 100 pages for this website quite yet, so it's good to know that Google is aware of 1,150 pages. Hopefully it'll increase the number of hits I get.

And in the other really, really, really, really, really big news of the day, I finally got a laptop shell that fits, so I can protect my baby when I'm travelling. Got it online in the end, and you would not believe how much of a hassle that was. Then it arrives yesterday and the zip snaps. Good start. But I've super-glued the zip back together, and my laptop-shell is good and ready to go. Now all I need is a place to live.


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