My face is liberated

Before shave After shave Well for the first time in around 8 months, I had a clean-shaven face yesterday. I like having a beard, but I just felt like a change. I don't know how long it will last, but for now at least, I'm one of those weird people without facial hair. I always got more female attention without a beard (apart from weird girls who really like their facial hair. Really like it.), but then it has kind of reveiled a second chin that was hidden under a beard. Probably picked up in Mexico. But anyway, for now, I am smooth. Smooth. And it feels weird.

One of the first things I did with my new face, was go and look for a job. I had a bag full of CVs, and the plan was to get my name into every temping agency in the local area. But instead what happened, was the irst one I went into had me fill out a shit-load of forms, and take a couple of IT tests to test my MS Word literacy, and my typing speed. This whole process took well over an hour... and they didn't even take a CV. But from what they told me, I should expect a call within the next couple of weeks when they next get an opening. It sounded like I should trust them, to sort out all of my work for the rest of the Summer. They certainly gave me the impression that I wouldn't be unemployed for long. And I believe them. Both the receptionist, who was doing all the forms and gave me those tests, and the agent I got assigned to, were H, O, T, hot! And I think that is the best basis for trusting a girl. So for the next couple of weeks, I just going to wait. I might start a job-hunt again is something hasn't turned up soon, but for now, I'll wait. And this waiting, will give me the time to do things probably more important than get a job.

First off, I have the time to get my finances travel-ready. What I mean by that, is opening up a current account that doesn't charge commission for withdrawing money abroad, getting further commission free credit cards, and moving my savings to high-interest instant access online savings accounts. I currently trust HSBC with my current account and my savings. But they're giving me comparably shit rates on my savings, and will charge me to access my money when I'm overseas, something that I plan on being for a long time. Over the potentially 5 years that I will be travelling, this could be as good to me financially, as getting a job anyway.

Also what I now have the time to do, is essentially list my life on eBay. Not to the extent that some guy did recently when he literally listed his life, including house, car... everything. But I have things such as a PS2, which with the accessories and games I have, should fetch around £100. When I get back from travelling, it's value will be... fuck all. I have a shit-load of DVDs. Once I get back from travelling, their value may be as obsolete as the VHS videos I just disposed of because the cost of listing them on eBay, was more than people were willing to pay for them. Essentially, the way I am looking at things; every item I own that I am not taking travelling, has value that I could use to travel with. And 5 years is a long time. Most of these items may no longer be useable once I get back, and even if they are, I will be a different person by then, so will I still want them. So apart from a few exceptional items that either mean too much to me sentimentally, or I believe that they will be of use to me, once I return, I am essentially planning on selling my life on eBay. Again, this my hold as much value to me as actually having a job, and waiting on a call from this agency, I have the time to sell everything I own.

Now if you ever read this blog regularly (no one does, but just hyperthetically), then you'll appreciate that I am maybe too honest for my own good at times. That's the way I see things anyway. I just don't see the point of keeping a record, if it isn't entirely truthful. And I could always do this, because, well I was always confident that no one mentioned in this blog would ever read it, because, very few people actually do at this stage. So when Suzi, who I was in Mexico with, messages me to say she found my Mexico blog, fuckin' eh, I had very little recollection of what I had written. So to make sure there is nothing that will offend too badly, I have to sit down and read through Mexico. 3 and a half hours it took me to read through those 5 entries, correcting any gramatical errors I found. And after all that, you know what I realised? I don't really care if I offend anyone. This is what happened, and the way I saw it through my eyes. Offending people isn't going to change that fact. These blogs aren't the bible: They won't be altered to keep everyone happy. I want a blog I write on 31st July 2008, to reflect my thoughts and views on the day of 31st July 2008. I probably won't agree with these views tomorrow, or a week from now, or a month, or a year, or even 10 years. But that is what I thought on the day that I wrote it. And that is what I want to have a record of. My thoughts at the time of writing. Something I can look back at some years from now, and have an attachment with the person that I once was. Make sure that I don't lose sight of the things that were once important to me. So I corrected any typing errors, but that was it. No amount of offense would have me change my views. I may write argument to what I said in a later entry, but I want to be able to look back and know, that on the 31st July 2008, this was exactly how I felt.

In reading through Mexico, I did however realise, that I pay very little attention to what I am actually saying. So, again being afforded the time whilst I wait for a call from this agency, I am planning on reading through every word of this site; getting the grammar in order. I expect it to take at least a week seeing as just 5 blog entries took me 3½ hours. But it would be nice that when I start giving people the URL for this site, that I actually have a knowledge of what is on here. That probably won't be until Canada; why give people the URL to a travel website when I'm not travelling? It's not like this blog entry would ever be of interest to anyone except me. And maybe not even me. But it would be nice to at least know what was on this site. So this is now officially, as well as finance week, sell life on eBay week and lose Mexico boobs week, it is also reading week. Read what is on this site, and then make sure to read through anything else I add. Actually be confident about the content which is here.

Now like I was just saying, the content of this page, and most of the other blog entries, maybe with the exception of Mexico, will be of very little interest to anyone. So why do I write them? Like I said, it will be something that I can look back to in the future, and know what my life was about at this time. But I think there's more to it than that. I think writing has just become important to me. Whenever I sit down to write a blog, I never know what I'm going to say. I just sit here, and my hands type words onto the screen. I never think about it and I never plan it. And I think that that process somehow clears my head. It provides me with clarity. I think things through at a writing pace, rather than a speaking pace, and once I am done writing, everything that was jumbled inside my head before, suddenly becomes clear. So I think on some degree, this site has become like a counsellor to me. It just sits here and listens as I ramble on about all sorts of crap. Take Mexico for example. I managed to recite virtually everyday onto these blogs, maybe with the exception of those days affected by alcohol. I didn't even realised I remembered what happened on the 4th day, or the 8th day, or the 16th day, until I sat down and wrote. I came back with very little recollection of what had happened in the early stages of the trip. But for 5 days, I sat down, and I wrote. And everything came to the fore. Now not only do I have a written record of Mexico, but now everything is clear in my head as well. And I think that is why every few days, I sit down here, and I write my life down on a computer. It puts it into perspective. It provides me with clarity, just as in the role of a counsellor. All a marriage counsellor for example does, is act as an intermediary, who listens, allows people to talk things through, acting as a judge of sorts. When they come out, couples are supposed to have gained clarity because they have been allowed to air things out, and think things through. This site provides the same to me. Anything that is pissing me off, I get it written down, anything that is on my mind, I get it down. And when I'm finished, I am more relaxed, and everything is clearer. This site has become my counsellor. That's maybe a little bit worrying.

Now yesterday, I went out for my first post-Mexico run. And for the first time, it really came apparent to me just how much Mexico fucked me up. I did the same route I did before going to Mexico, that is somewhere in the region of about 8 miles. It was taking me 60 minutes before Mexico. Last night, it took me 70. That is a hell of a time difference over such a short distance. And not only is it the time that has got worse, I feel like an old man this morning, my joints are so sore. Before Mexico, I'd go out for a run, and that was it. It was over. Today I've had to take a day off weights just to recover. Mexico has fucked up my fitness, and it's fucked up my durability. It is becoming apparent to me, that a month of beer, shots, cocktails and fast-food, probably isn't the best for your health. I am now day 12 of my 100 day detox. And my god how I need it. Mexico has even fucked up my motivation for the gym. I'm still going most days, but where as before I looked forward to going, now is has become more of a chore. I've got to snap out of this. I'm prepared for the fact that I might get out of shape when travelling. Even though I will do all I can to avoid it, it's bound to happen to some degree when I'm away from my routine of gym nearby and eating well. But I will be so disappointed with myself if I fly out to Canada around 3 months from now still carrying my Mexico boobs. I like being in shape. It means I can laugh at fat people. No way in hell I'm going back to being one of the fat ones before I leave, even if it'll happen afterwards. Fuckin' eh! It was an awesome trip, but I'm paying for it now. I sacrificed a job for Mexico, and it seems I've sacrificed one of my most treasured attributes, my fitness as well. Ah well. A month from now, August 31st, hopefully I'll have done enough that I am at least making progres. The most important thing though, is to start enjoying exercise again. But for that, I need my fitness back. Man it's a vicious cycle.

Well I've rambled on about shit or long enough. I now have my reference sorted by contacting my old boss (via email), so now I just wait. By the end of August, I should know if this job in Canada is a yes or a no. Right now I'm feeling 60/40 in favour of yes, so fingers crossed. I haven't applied anywhere else yet, so right now, all of my eggs are in that basket. And as you can see below, I wasn't lying. I actually did graduate. My degree certificate arrived 2 or 3 days ago, so it's official. I am a graduate. How depressing.

Degree certificate

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