I'm falling apart


So on Saturday I go to the gym. I've had something of a left groin strain for a couple of weeks so last time it was a legs day, laid off doing squats to help recover. There aren't many more important exercises than squats to me though, so despite still feeling the effects on my groin, there was no way I was going a second straight week without doing them. That was stupid, and I think that although I had a semi-decent workout considering I was having to modify how I moved my legs somewhat, I'm sure I've set myself back somewhat in recovery. So yesterday morning, I decide to go out for a run: My usual route of about 8 miles. Within the first ¼ of a mile though, I felt something go in my right knee. I think it was an old American Football injury that got aggravated somehow, and common sense was telling me to stop and go home seeing as I was so close still. I pride myself on the fact that I have never not completed a route I've set myself to run. This dates back to when I first started running when I was a tubby, smoking, 17-year old. Whatever happened when I was out, whether it be an injury of some kind, or thunder-storms, or tiredness. Whatever it was, I had always fought through and finished my route. I had nearly 8 miles still to run here, but in a lot of discomfort, I perservered. I was essentially running on one leg though. My right leg couldn't really bend or straighten with any weight on it, so it was really there only to stop me falling over. This was ok as I could retardedly keep on running. Though when I got to any up hills, all the power I could muster came from my left leg. It was somewhat humiliating to me. Not because I was running like such a retard, but because I was having to run so slowly. I was still able to overtake one couple who were running, but I have a lot of pride in my fitness, so to be running at such a pace was somewhat of an embarrassment to me. Finally though, having fought through the pain for a long time, with about a mile left, my knee just completely stopped being able to function, even as a peg-leg, and I pulled up. I just got a shot of pain, like my knee had been electrocuted, and that was it. For the first time in 6 years of regular running, I had to walk part of the route I set out for myself. I kind of hobbled home, and for the rest of the day, even just sitting still was in a lot of discomfort. Pride comes before a fall eh. I had too much pride to stop, and I was suffering for it now. I didn't even get to the end of my route. And the stupid thing was, because I was having to run so slowly, when I did pull up, I wasn't even out of breath and was barely sweating. I'd fucked myself up, and ultimately achieved very little.

Thankfully by this morning the pain had eased somewhat. Going down stairs is still a bit of a problem, but I was well enough to get about, and to ride a bike. So I thought I may as well get to the gym. Just like with my running, I've been cycling for years. I've had my current bike for about 4, and I've never had a problem. Then for some reason, cycling to the gym, I get a shooting cramp in my right hamstring. I was able to ride through it, but now I have that soreness in my leg that you can get after a cramp. To make things even better, for the first time in my gym life, my shaker decides to open in my bag. I've taken a shaker with me everytime I've been to the gym for about 4 years now, and I've never had one even leak. But today, it decides to open. This was in with my gym kit, and a blend of strawberries, a slightly mouldy banana, protein powder, cottage cheese, walnuts, flax oil, ice and water was in the shaker. As you can imagine, it made my kit totally unusable, including my towel, so a shower was out as well. I had cycled here in shorts and a t-shirt anyway, so I thought fuck it, may as well just have a workout in what I came with. I can just cycle back in this and have a shower when I get home. I didn't come all this way to not get some exercise. But then as I'm getting to the end of my workout, something went in my left shoulder. I have no idea what. I was doing ab crunches on a cable pulley for fucks sake, and I've somehow injured my shoulder. Just sitting and typing it is causing a lot of discomfort. I'm falling apart here. For some reason, god really doesn't want me to exercise at the moment. I never normally get any injuries, yet anytime I've exercised in the past 3 days, something's gone wrong. And he's even trying covering my gym kit in protein smoothie. I think he's trying to punish me for ripping on fat people too much. He's not going to let me exercise anymore, and make me fat. Well I tell you god you son of a bitch, it isn't working asshole. I still have one good arm and half a good leg, so you can suck my fucking balls. I'll invent new exercises for one-armed, half-legged people if I have to. You won't keep me out my gym!

Osi Umenyiora Knee Surgery Strange coincidence: On the same day I pull up with a knee injury, Osi Umenyiora has to have season-ending knee surgery. Unless I'm mistaken, he's the only London-born NFL player currently playing in the NFL, and someone I saw play at Wembley last year. Something of a defensive-end idol to me. It's fucking voodoo his knee goes the same day as mine. I thought the giants had a chance of retinaing their crown with Osi. Now I don't. We'll have new champions this year.

So that's me. I'm falling apart for fucks sake. What makes it worse, is that after my workout on Saturday, I sit in the sauna, and I get chatting to this stunning chic in a bikini. I was already pretty much at the point where I had to leave when she came in. But it's impossible to leave anywhere when you're talking to a girl this hot. That's scientifically proven. It didn't help she was wearing a bikini top too small for her modest boobs, so it wasn't covering them fully. It was so fucking sexy to look at. She had one hot-ass to go with it. But she stayed in the sauna for about half-an-hour for fucks sake. By the time I could actually leave I had this banging headache from so much heat. And you try cycling home with that. It's not fun. It was worth it, but it's not fun. Kind of fucked me up for the rest of Saturday, so that was something else to add to my list of ailments. Probably my fault, but it's an accident waiting to happen allowing girls that hot into saunas. I'm surprised there hasn't been similar injuries on the news recently.

Also with saunas, is there some kind of sauna cult or something. I was in one the other day, and this guy who used to fit saunas was telling me about how he had been altering the sauna and steam room temperatures, and that the gym was getting pissed off with it. I asked him how you do that, and he just replied "oh I can't tell you" shaking his head and looking away. Is there some kind of sauna club you have to join or something before you're allowed to know how to change the temperature or something? He reacted like I'd asked him for his bank account number. I feel like there's a club I don't know about going on.

Before I move on from my world of injuries, theres another one I even forgot about. When I was running, I could feel a blister coming, in the same place I always get one when I run, so I didn't think anything of it. Anyway, once I get back, I take a look at my foot and I see this this layer of dead skin that I pull off, and my foot starts dripping blood. I had literally run on it to the point I had worn out all my skin, and blood was coming out. So if walking wasn't fun enough already, I can only walk on the right side of my right foot whilst the left side is healing up. I really am a mess right now. It's strange. I'm normally a pinacle of health.

Moving on anyway, my eBay items are starting to end and I'm starting to get some significant income from them. Along with my PS2 that had sold previously, I have also shifted a 'teach yourself Spanish' package, my oversized pacsafe, and in 3 different lots, my DVD collection. My NFL jerseys collection ends in 4 days, and one is already eBay fetching £14.50, which is good at this stage. Total sales now stand at £274.49 before postage, so it's looking pretty good. The main of my DVD lots has yet to be paid for, but those 65 DVDs fetched £109 before postage which is awesome. I was hoping for a lot less. I'm sure they'll be somewhat worthless when I get back from travelling, so that's £109 that I wouldn't've had otherwise. They did sell to Poland, though I learnt from the Hungary incident. And despite me quoting this Pole £45 in postage costs, he still bid. Now all I need is his money. For this week at least though, I've earnt as much as having a job would have got me. I'm not being totally sentimentless though. With my PS2, I didn't sell my copy of Final Fantasy VII. From my DVDs, I kept my collection of Rocky's. And I of course haven't listed my Hasselbeck with my NFL jerseys. I've kept each thing that means the most to me. For the rest, I want the money.

Speaking of having a job as I just did, I still don't have one. I meant to phone the agency to see if this job I mentioned previously was going ahead. But I forgot. And god forbid they could actually call me. So there's a chance I could have work starting on Wednesday. But I doubt it. I'll phone them tomorrow to find out. If I'd remembered it was a bank holiday today, I would've made sure to've spoken to them last Friday. But I didn't. So now I'll have to wait. Again.

Not having a job, last Friday was the first time that it actually started to really get to me. Not that I am short of things to do, but I just lacked any motivation. I was almost in a state of depression for a day. Too depressed and demotivated to get on and do anything, but at the same time, cursingly bored. I didn't want to be doing nothing, but I was too depressed to be doing anything. It was a weird feeling to be having. Luckily, that somewhat unproductive state of mind passed, and I've actually had something of a productive weekend with regards to this website.

Firstly, I decided I may as well start promoting the site a bit. Put the URL about a bit, and hope it helps me climb up the Google rankings somewhat. It is something of a meaningless process as yet, seeing as this is a travel website and I haven't started travelling yet. So any traffic I generate will surely turn away again soon enough, but I thought I'd do it anyway. Where could I plaster the URL then? Firstly, I thought Facebook. I found a couple of groups that were in the topic area of web design and put my URL on the group wall with text of somekind to make it look like I wasn't shamelessly advertising. I also have a group I started a while back to research for my Independent Study that still sits there. I might plaster the URL in there in a few places as well. I still haven't used the website section of my Facebook profile yet. That's because I don't really want to bring the site to the attention of people that I know yet. I expect that they will be on there more than randoms, just because I know them. If they find out about the site now, then they'll look at it, see there is nothing on there, and not come back. If I wait until I am travelling, then there should be some content for them to look at, so I'll have more chance of getting serial visitors. So it's quite a challenge. Right now, I am marketing the site, but trying my best to make sure that no one I know finds it.

Another thing I've been doing, is finding forums where people go to get their sites reviewed. Not only does this give me the opportunity to put my URL at different points of the Internet, but it also gives me peoples opinions of the site. On each of these sites, you have to review 3 other peoples websites before you can post for yours to be reviewed. To make sure my URL gets about the place, I have made it my signature in these forums, so it is in every post that I write. And I have also made it my forum username. This doesn't actually link to the site, but it is still exposure for the URL. So it has been a productive weekend in that sense. The reviews I'm getting are pretty positive as well. The first line of the first comment I got was "Listen man, I'll be frank with you. By all means, this site is no good for a practicing, semi-professional designer or scripter. Though, for a beginner like you, this is incredible. Trust me. You are really on your way." So there you have it. This site is incredible. Not all the reviews were so positive, but it's still more positive than I expected. Somewhat expectedly, I got a bit of a backlash for including a link to Loose Change on my Links page. I wasn't thinking that too many Yanks would appreciate seeing that there. All in all though, it was pretty good. There was unsurprisingly, also a surge in activity in my Analytics report. Though something that I suspected was proven to me. I have always felt that the amount of time that people spend on a page is wrong in these reports, as I will so often get a time of zero, when people tell me that they read a whole page. With loose change at the bottom of the links page, there can be no way that someone spent zero seconds on this page to find this out, like the report suggests. So I'm therefore somewhat sceptical about some of the information that these reports tell me. Though apart from the times, I have no reason to doubt the rest of the statistics. If anyone is interesting in seeing these threads, the one with the most feedback is located by this link in webmaster-talk. I also placed a thread in Ozzu, although at the time of writing, this only had one brief reply. Then just as I started writing this blog, I put a thread here in Webmasters Help, although this site seems less prominent than the others, so I don't know if it'll turn up any replies. I'm banding the URL about a bit though. And I plan on keeping on doing so to get the recognition of the site up a little bit higher before I start travelling. Though I'll start promoting it properly once I leave for Canada. I think a good target, is to have gained 1¢ of advertising revenue by the time I leave. As yet I've got fuck all, so if I can get 1¢ by the time I leave for Canada, then it's a start.

Now I said a while back, that before I start getting many visitors to this site, I'd like to have read it all through once, just to correct any gramatical errors, and to make sure I haven't said anything too offensive. To this end, since Mexico, I've read through every blog entry I've posted, as I've posted it. So yesterday, I read through every blog entry before Mexico. Fuck that wasn't fun. Can't see why anyone would want to read that crap. But I am now satisfied that there is nothing untoward within the blog entries. I did edit some insignificant grammar, but other than that, the pages are as they were. No sentences were taken out or added in. I also did the same for the 'before I left' page. Even this soon after writing things, I can see the benefits of doing so. It's eye-opening the amount I've changed even from as recently as just before Mexico. How my motivation to exercise has changed was most noticable, but changes in my views and in beliefs have seen shifts as well. This is why I'm keeping these blogs. If I can notice a change from 2 months ago, imagine what I will see when I look back in 5 years. Or 10 years. Or maybe even 20. The more I do this website, the more I am seeing how fascinating it will be to look back at. This is my record of my life. I don't generally keep souveneirs or nostalgic reminders of things, so this is my record. This is my life souveneir. This website could turn out to be one of the best decisions of my life if it is still up and running a few years from now, and I keep on updating it. That is a big if, but I can dream. Now I need to do some things like edit my profile, because the more I look at that, the more I cringe. And I have to read every other page of the site. My story will take a while. As will the philosohies pages, and the hostels page. But now the blogs are out the way, that is the worst of it done. I hope to have it all proof-written within the next couple of days. That'll be a relief. Still no word as yet on what I'll do with the extras page either. Maybe someone on these forums can advise me on where to go with this. Nothing yet though. Reviewing other peoples sites, I might stumble across an idea for mine. I reviewed one site with a webcam page. And like I expected, it was just an image of an empty room. Another site was a games site, and although irrelevant to travel, putting a few games on the site might get people revisiting. I'll keep on looking, and keep on thinking. Something has to turn up.

That's me nearly done for today. I forgot to say that I have also updated what is currently called the 'Money Saving Advice' page with my free hotels idea from Mexico. I say currently called because I think I'm going to change it to just 'Money Saving'. I think it's too patronising to call it advice. Like a while back when I changed the 'Hostel Guide' page to just 'Hostels'. To streamline all of the folders that I use though, I will not only have to change the image used for the button, but the name of the page, and hence the links in every other page, as well as renaming the folder the photos are in, so renaming all of them as well. It probably won't take more than an hour, but it's a bit of a hassle just to take out one word. I think it'll be worth it though. The other thing I've started trying to do, is use ' instead of just typing apostrophes by pressing the apostrophe button, because apparently that isn't good xhtml practice. What I've realised in writing this blog though, is that is nearly impossible. I use so many damn apostrophies, if I was to go back and change every single one on this site, it would take me until Christmas. So althrough I try to keep to xhtml standards, that isn't going to fly. I've noticed shit-loads of times just in this blog entry that I've forgotten, so there is no way that I'll be going back through every other blog. Hopefully browsers will keep on supporting just pressing apostrophe, because otherwise, I am fucked.


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