If I'm drunk it's not my fault


Well I know that I said in the last blog that I wrote, that that would probably be the last one I wrote for a while. Well it's my last night in Invermere tonight. And I was expecting to be busy getting the appartment in a shape that I could move out of it harmoniously. But true to his word, Greg did a fuck of a lot of the cleaning that needs to be done, earlier today. So there really isn't too much more that I'm going to do tonight.

I'm semi-packed. Although at some stage I will have to unpack and repack everything because, well, I'm quite obsessive with these kind of things. Shit can go wrong when you're going from place to place like this. Taking all of your worldly possessions on your back. So I don't just ensure that I pack the right stuff. I don't just ensure that I pack the right stuff in the right bags. I don't even just ensure that I pack the right stuff in the right sections of the right bags. I'll go so far as to have belongings packed in a certain order, within the right sections of the right bags. That way I can ensure that the things I'm most likely to need as I'm moving, will be the most accessible.

This might sound anal. But travelling can be stressful. And believe me when I say, that it pays to take the time to get yourself this organised. When you have the time, sat at home, to just get yourself in as best shape as possible; then you take that time. Because when you're moving, you have timetables to stick to. Buses to catch. Breaks at service stations can be short so you don't want to waste time looking for the things that you need. And when you're standing in a queue at the bus station (not that I'll expect there to be one anywhere around here at the times I'm travelling), you don't want to have to empty out all your bags looking for something. With 20 people waiting behind you in the queue. Pissed off that you're taking up so much of the cashiers time. Believe me when I say that it will make your journey 10 times easier, if you take the time to make the stuff you need, accessible. And then make sure you know exactly where it is.

So I'll be doing that at some point. Probably tomorrow. And there's a bit more cleaning to do. Again, probably tomorrow.

The landlords are coming around at about 2. So I need to make sure everything is in shape by then.

In a fairly clever move, Greg has moved out today to make sure that he doesn't have to use any of the stuff that's already been cleaned. I on the other hand don't have that option, so tonight I'm probably going to be sleeping on the couch in a sleeping bag. I bought a dinner from Sobey's that involved zero washing up. And I can tell you for certain I won't be showering tomorrow. Anything I don't absolutely have to use, I won't use. Because even if I just use a fork, I need to clean it. Then I'll have to clean the sink. Then I'll have to clean the cloth or rag used to clean the sink. And it just goes on and on. So I'm doing my best to use... nothing. Which is why I'm writing now. It stops me making a mess of this damn near sterile appartment. I tell you, you could tell he'd been working as a housekeeper all season.

Winter stuff One dilemma that I have, is that what the hell am I supposed to do with all of my Winter possessions? Skis, ski boots, Winter boots, ski poles, ski pants. I absolutely do not have the space to take them with me. And if I did, what the Hell am I going to do with them? Because they're such bulky, so expensive to ship items, their eBay value doesn't make them worth taking. Especially at this time of year. And any localised method of selling I might be able to find in Vancouver, like a car-boot sale for example (not sure if they have them over here), really wouldn't go so far to recouping the value of hauling them all the way to Vancouver. They're so heavy and bulky, that the amount of extra calories I'd burn in getting them to Vancouver, I'd have to spend any money I could make from selling them, straight on food. There really is no justification for taking them with me.

And I've tried selling this stuff here. But at a time when the snow is all melting and the mountain is closed, who would want any of this? Plus, the skiing equipment I bought, I did so because it was the cheapest that I could find. Any skier will almost certainly have better equipment already.

So I only really have one solution. I'm going to have to donate this stuff to the charity shop. Probably costing me a total of around $350-$400 when I bought it, I'm going to have to just give this stuff away. Which very depresses me. Plus, I'm not giving to charity to give to a good cause or any of that crap. I hate charities. I just think it's a waste to throw out perfectly good equipment. And I'd rather this stuff found a home. Because the less money that would mean going to thieving corporations because someone wouldn't have to buy this stuff new. Plus, one less of each of these pieces of equipment would have to be manufactured, so it'll do some good to the environment.

But that presented me with a dilemma. I don't like charities. And I've demonstrated in the past that being a good person just comes to bite you in the ass. So I needed a way to make sure that I was getting some value for giving this stuff away. Because that would prevent me from being a good person. So, in more of a symbolic attempt to gain from this donation, rather than something that I feel will actually provide for me financially, I've come up with a solution when I may be able to gain from this.

I'm going to take a black, permanent marker. And on all of this equipment, I'm going to write "jrosworld.com". That way, by sitting on display in the charity shop (Thrift Store), this website will be getting promoted. Then, for example, anyone who uses these skis, will look down anytime they're skiing, and see this website URL. And that may, probably not, but may just possibly lead to one of these people coming onto this website. And that just may, probably not, but may lead to them clicking on some of the ads on this website. And that will make me money.

So although it's unlikely to do shit, this is going to be my way of making sure that I'm not just donating stuff to charity for free. Because that's just not me. There's a chance I can gain from donating this stuff if I do it this way. And that way I can make peace with the whole thing. I'm a genius.

Now let's rewind a couple of days. When I last wrote, unless I'm mistaken, it was the night before my final shift at Pano on Sunday. So let's take it from there.

I wasn't able to swap my breaks up like I'd hoped for. However, I did still get 2, 1-hour breaks during the day. The first I used as to get lunch and have a ride down from Champagne. Still in the morning, and very fucking icy. Perhaps not the best idea.

The second I used to get another, final run down from the summit. So for all the palava about getting one final summit run once I'd injured my knee, I ended up getting 2.

View from the summit at Panorama Mountain It wasn't an especially clear day. And I had to get back down to the bottom to continue with my shift. So I didn't hang around at the top. I only took a couple of pictures because the conditions were ensuring that there were no views there any more spectacular than ones I'd seen before.

And I was still paranoid about falling and reinjuring my knee, so had abstained from any alcohol at this point in the day. But now my skiing for the day was done, I had no reason not to drink. So at about 16:30 I cracked open the large bottle of rum and Coke that I had mixed that morning. To any onlooker it was just a bottle of Coke. So I could happily drink this bottle whilst operating heavy machinery. And those people whom were entrusting me with their lives would be none the wiser.

As this final shift was coming to a close, any niceties to take from the fact that I was one of the two final lifty's working for the season, were greatly undone by way that I knew everyone else was already partying at mountain ops. There is surely only so much beer to go around. And what could a worse way be to end the season, than the last 2 people riding the Gondola; the final lift that was open, on the final day of the season. What could be worse, than the last guests I had to serve in my Panorama career, being French? What a shit way to finish. Fucking French people ruin my life.

As soon as I was done though, I didn't hang around in getting back to mountain ops to get the party started.

One advantage of arriving late, is the fact that they neglected to remember that I hadn't paid the $5 fee for the party. So it was all free for Jro.

And this went, as most parties would go. I don't remember shit about it.

Jackpine pub at Panorama Mountain I remember drinking in mountain ops. Then it goes blank. I have a flashback memory of being in the Jackpine pub. And then it goes blank. I did there take this picture, which is something I'd been meaning to do all season, seeing as there can't be too many pubs in Canada with an Everton shirt on the wall. I don't even remember taking this picture, but it was on my camera, so there you go. I have this one-second long flashback of being in the Jackpine. Then my memory goes blank. Then I have a very short flashback of having a "heated arguement" with a bouncer, shall we say. Then my memory goes blank. Then I have a flashback of trying to break into appartments. And that's how it goes.

I woke up, in a random bed, in a random appartment. I somehow remember stumbling across this appartment where the door was unlocked. I think I'd gone in, decided it was a vacated room that Panorama rents out to guests, and proceeded to pass out on a bed here. It hadn't been cleaned since the last guests had left. But you could tell by the emptiness of the place that there was no one else staying here. It was a fucking awesome place though. 2 or 3 bedrooms. 2 or 3 bathrooms. I was still drunk at the time of waking up, so my memory isn't clear. But one thing that I consistently do, is wake up early after a night out. And the oven clock in this place told me that I was up at about 06:45.

If there's one thing that I am, it's a resourceful drunk. And I will always find myself a bed to sleep on. I don't really remember how I got here. But I was here so that was all that matters. Still drunk when I woke up, I wasn't in any rush to get out. So I got myself cleaned up in the bathroom. And even found a full tub of ice cream in the freezer that I proceeded to help myself to before the paranoia of the fact that I had no right to actually be here set in.

I had no idea where I was on the mountain. I had no idea what building. So I had no idea what was out the front of this place. Would I have to walk out through a reception area manned by someone who'd recognise me for example? So after helping myself to a second serving of ice cream because, well it's good for a hangover, I proceeded to leave this place. Via the ground floor balcony.

Appartment This is a picture that I took on my way out. This place stretched through all 4 ground floor windows. It was a fucking palace. I slept in the room the furthest to the right. Maybe the best night sleep I've had all season. And it didn't cost me a penny.

There was a problem though, that I was now out on the mountain, at what was probably around 07:30. What the fuck am I going to do at 07:30? Well all my stuff was in mountain ops. So the first place I headed was there. But it was all locked up. I made an effort to break into here as well. But I'd obviously sobred up too much because I just didn't have the resourcefulness to break in. The audacity you get after a few drinks means that bypassing locks and security is always 10 times easier when drunk. Don't ask me why.

At this time of morning on what was now the close season, what the fuck was going to be open? Fuck all, that's what. So my only real option was to get back to town. How? Well I was going to hitch. At 07:30 am. In the close season. That's not too much to ask now. Is it?

I was at the point that I was still drunk, but I was also hungover. You know that real point when you hit a wall. So it was no surprise that I was struggling to pick up a ride. Cars passing were rare enough. And who's going to pick up someone in my state? And I got to the point that I was counting down from 20 to zero. If I got to zero, then I was going back to the appartment that I'd spent the night. I was going to break in again, eat some more ice cream and go back to bed. I got to 5, when somewhat to my disbelief, someone pulled over and picked me up.

Never in all of my hitching at Pano, have I had a journey quite as quiet as this. But my brain really wasn't in the state to be thinking of small-talk right now. So there wasn't much to be done about it.

I got him to drop me off at the edge of town. Because if there's one thing that's going to help a hangover, it's fast-food. And lots of it. So I went to A&W, and bought not one, but 2 breakfast meals. And on top of that got a very large Coke. Water, sugar, caffiene. All the things I needed. I spent nearly $15 here for fucks sake. 1 giant Coke. 2 orange juices. 2 hash browns. 1 bacon and egg bun. 1 sausage and egg bun. Worth every damn penny. Until I had to start the 15-20 minute walk home. But just what the doctor ordered after drinking one or two too many.

Now there was one thing that I'd noticed as soon as I'd woken up in my appartment. I'd accumulated some strange stuff last night. I had some kind of blue band in my pocket that said Finley on it. I had 3 hotel key cards. I had an award certificate for Daniel Jankowski. Every lifty got an award last night (I got the 'Keep your tips up' award whatever the fuck that means). And I'd somehow acquired the certificate for DJ. But one thing I was missing. After all the shit I'd been through to get it, I didn't have my phone. I'd lost my phone. Which would have depressed me if I was in a position to care right now. But I was hungover and short of memory, so I almost just found it funny. All you can do it laugh when shit like that happens. About 3 months to get the damn thing. And lost after one drunken night.

Now normally after a night like this, I'd lay low for a while. I never know what the fuck I've done. And having broken into an appartment, but with no idea of if anyone else knew about that. Having an inkling that I'd been kicked out of the bar, but not knowing why, I had a fairly good idea that it'd been a spicy night. So probably best to lay low for a couple of days. Wait for people to forget about shit. When I drink too much, if anything's gone wrong, then there's a fair chance that I'm in the middle of it. So I'd normally lay low for a while.

Unfortunately though, on this occasion, I needed to get back to the mountain. I had a lot of important stuff in my locker in mountan ops. So I was reluctantly going to have to face the music.

One thing that was in my locker, was my keys. So I also had to break into my own appartment, climbing through the window. Something that last time had caused me more pain than I'd care to describe. Luckily this time I got through, slowly, carefully, and ok. I went to bed once I got in. In my own bed this time. And woke up again with just enough time to throw on some clothes before going for the 11:30 bus.

Once I'd got to the mountain, I would guess I was still about 30 metres away from mountain ops, when the first person saw me. And proceeded to tell me, from 30 metres away, just how drunk I was last night. And this was a theme that carried on all day. Not a single person just said "hi" to me. Everyone, including people I didn't remember seeing, weighed in with their 2¢. And even people who I hadn't seen, had heard, so everyone I knew who was at the mountain, which was a lot of people seeing it was staff day, went on about this. And from what I gather, a brief account of my night went something like this:

Got kicked out of the Jackpine for being too drunk. First I was standing at the bar shouting "Sparta!" rather loudly. Then I fell asleep. Well apparently I didn't take too kindly to being removed. And was starting as much shit as possible with a bouncer twice my size. And from what I gather, was not too far away from severly regretting it. In fact from what I hear, it was just Adam somehow saving my ass, that prevented me from waking up in the hospital instead. Which would have been a shame, because they probably wouldn't have free ice cream.

After that I then disappeared, and that will have been when I decided it was a good idea to break into an appartment. And then proceeded to sleep in someone elses bed. I know from looking around this place when I woke up that it was probably an unoccupied guest room. But whether or not I had the where-with-all to figure this out when I was drunk is anyone's guess. I don't even know if I looked around. I might have just seen a bed an passed out in it. Could have been someone in the next room for all I know. Though like I said, when I'm drunk I'm pretty damn resourceful. Probably walking in saying "Hello... Housekeeping." Or something like that. But it doesn't really matter. It happened when I was drunk so I can't be held responsible for it. And it was a room that hadn't been cleaned yet. So it didn't cost anyone anything. So when you think about it, it was the perfect crime.

When I arrived at the mountain at about 12:00 though, I would have been happy to leave at 12:30. I was hungover and was paranoid to fuck about what I'd done the night before. So the fewer people I saw, the better as far as I was concerned. But I had too much stuff to hitch with. And the next bus was at 18:00. So I had to hang around the mountain for 6 hours. Everywhere I turned seeing people I knew. And every single one of them having something to tell me about last night. Something else that I didn't want to here. And call me paranoid, but I swear people that I didn't know were whispering about me as well. I just gave the very, very, brief version of that night. But in reality it all went much, much deeper. And I don't remember a thing about it. So there could be hundreds of people I offended in some way or another.

And what people really don't appreciate, is that memory loss is one of my bodies defensive mechanisms. If I knew the shit I get up to drunk, then I would be traumatised by it. By forgetting all the shit that I've done, it's my defence against knowing this shit. So when people tell me this stuff and put photos on Facebook, it's only proceeding to fuck me over. It should be a rule of what happens when you're drunk, stays with when you're drunk.

I've said it before that drunk me, is like a completely different person to sobre me. Sobre me doesn't remember any of drunk me's actions. And I'm not sure if drunk me even remembers drunk me's actions. Because sobre me will never find out what drunk me remember's. But the problem is that sobre me has to deal with all the consequences of drunk me's actions. And I think that's a little unfair. Drunk me get's me into all this shit. And sobre me has to deal with it. And the only similarities between the two of us, is that we look alike. But people don't appreciate this. They think that just because I'm the same person in body, that sobre me should have to deal with all drunk me's actions. Which is a little unfair. Like if you had a twin that caused a lot of shit, and you were a saint. Because of your close relation, you would be held in the same regard as him. People wouldn't appreciate that you are actually 2 completely different people. Same deal here. Drunk me has no relation to sobre me. We don't harbour any of the same thoughts or values. We have very different personalities. But yet sobre me had to spend all day at the staff party hearing about the shit that drunk me had done.

And you know something? This isn't my fault. This is everybody else's fault. You know why? Because this was the last night of the season. This was it. This was the end. This was a 'mountain operations' party. Between the people here, we'd operated a mountain successfully, for a whole ski season. And this was the send off. It should have been carnage. Everyone should have got kicked out of the pub. There should have been riots in the street. Why? Because that's just the way it works. So the shit that I did, isn't actually my fault. I wouldn't have known about it if people hadn't told me. And the reason that they knew about it, is that they weren't drunk enough themselves. If they were, then they would have forgotten everything as well. So I blame everyone else. It's their fault for not drinking enough, and remembering the shit that drunk me did. Because if they didn't remember it, then I wouldn't remember it.

Anyway, I said before that on this day, if on any day, this would be the day that I re-fuck up my knee. Well for reasons I'm not too sure about, my knee was sorer today than it had been previously. Apparently when I got kicked out of the pub, it was meant in a literal way. So maybe it was that. But whatever. Old Timer; that's one of the Mile 1 runs, was open for staff for 2 hours. And I'd drunk a little today already. And I was still battling my hangover from last night. So I wasn't in the best shape to be skiing. But for nearly 2 hours I was going down Old Timer. And I did so without any falls. So my biggest fear from skiing again, never came to be realised. I stand by that, had I fallen at any time over the past few days when skiing, I could have seriously reinjured my knee. As fate would have it, in this spell of a week or so of skiing, I didn't have a single fall. So it was a risk that paid off.

After this time, there was some bullcrap awards ceremony. People getting recognised for their work over the season, or many seasons. I think out of something like 7 or 8 award winners, I had heard of 2. So it was a lot of sitting there just wishing it would finish. Because I swear to Christ people were looking at me. And it was snowing. It had to happen just as the lifts were closed for the year eh!

After which a few of us went back to mountain ops. Which was cool. Out of the paranoia of being surrounded by hundreds of people. Any of whom I could have fucked off last night. And back to a group of just a few people that I knew well and had been with all day. I still proceeded to find out more shit that I'd done. But it was a lot more relaxed here.

Now I said that I'd lost my phone, and somehow, acquired some strange items during my night last night. Well I'd borrowed Dan C's (one of the lifty's) phone earlier to call my phone. No answer. And I tried it again here. No answer. It was worth a try though eh. Then Dan all of a sudden hands me his phone. My phone is calling his phone. So I answer. And the guy on the other end proceeds to tell me that he found my jacket in the back of his truck this morning. And my phone was in the pocket. He'd just heard it ringing. What are the odds that I would call my phone at a time when he was in his truck? Someone was smiling down on me. Well this guy worked at Pano, so said he'd be around to mountain ops in 5 minutes.

One thing that was confusing the fuck out of me, was that I was wearing my jacket. Most people have these Panorama fleeces. And I was wearing mine. So how the hell could my jacket be in the back of his truck? What the Hell was going on? Until I examined my jacket closely. And in my jacket, I'd written "Jro" in permanent marker on the label. There was no "Jro" here. I wasn't wearing my jacket. Which then proceeded to explain all the weird shit I found in my pockets that morning. I don't know how I wasn't wearing my jacket. But I surely wasn't. And when I figured that out, the people who'd been gracious enough to inform me of all the shit I'd been doing the night before, found this really fucking hilarious.

True to his word, 5 minutes later a truck pulls up. The guy driving hands me what I now know is my jacket. And that has my phone in. I am fucking relieved. It'd taken me so much time to get this baby. Plus I'd done things like apply for jobs using this number. So to have it back again was a huge relief. Apparenty not only mine, but someone else's jacket were in the back of this guys truck this morning. And I have no idea why. But I'd got my phone back and that was all that mattered.

Back at mountain ops, away from all the crowds, this had actually become quite pleasant for the past couple of hours. And with 18:00 approaching, I wouldn't have minded hanging around for a while longer. Afterall, this was the last time I was going to see many of these people. But the bus after this wasn't until 21:00. And I'm not sure that hanging around a further 3 hours would have been a good idea. So a few of us said our goodbyes. Seeing people, buildings, mountains, everything, for the last time. And we got this bus.

I didn't leave the house again yesterday. And today has all been getting ready to leave. After eventually being able to get hold of him, the landlord popped around quickly this afternoon. He'll be back tomorrow at about 14:00. And I just have a feeling he's going to be awkward about things. I said 14:00, because in the event I need to get to Windermere bus station, and there is no way other than walking, I think I should just about to get myself and all my worldly belongings there in about 2 hours. I'm hopeful that it isn't necessary. But you've got to play it safe eh?

I'm kind of looking forward to getting out of here now. Getting on with things. No doubt I'll miss a lot of things about this place. And with the scenery around here, it could be awesome in the Summer for hiking. But given that I only get one year, I think I'd regret spending all my time in one place. So it's time to move on. Next stop Vancouver. Though how long I'll actually be there is anyone's guess.


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