Canadian's are fucking retarded

Part 1 -
Written April 04th

My goodness gracious. You remember how I said in a previous blog, that in Canada they've been blessed with some of the greatest land on earth? But it's run by fucking retards? Well my goodness is that ever true!

First I had some great fun getting my cell phone active. I said when I wrote last week, that I'd tried to get my phone activated online. And they sent me an automated email saying that they were unable to activate the phone at that time, but they'd send me a confirmation email once it was done. I can't remember if I said this in the last blog or not. But I don't have much patience with the process of 'activating a phone.' What the fuck does that even mean? Back home you can just put a sim card into a phone, and it works. What's all this bullshit you have over here about getting it activated? So I didn't hand around in getting in touch with Rogers to give them a nudge in getting my phone activated, and had sent them an email on Friday. It was a pretty clear email. It explained everything in. But the response I got on Saturday, was one requesting a butt-load of further information, like account numbers, that I didn't have yet. Why? Because my phone hadn't been activated.

But I sent an instant reply to this email on Saturday. I guess the folks at Rogers have the day off on Sunday, because it wasn't until Monday that I got another response. And what did that say? Despite making it clear in my first email that I needed my phone activated, it took them 2 replies and 3 days to tell me, that you can't do this over email. You'll have to call them. So it wasn't until Tuesday after work, that I was finally able to get to a phone to call them. They had no record of my Sim card activation request. Despite the email they'd sent to me saying they'd let me know when it was active. So I had to do it all over again. On the phone. Took about 20 minutes. And after nearly a week of fucking about, that was all it fucking took to get my phone activated. If that's all it took... why the hell did they send me around the houses for days! Fuck Canada is retarded!

Initially when I'd tried to activate the phone online, as I said last week, I did so as an Invermere phone no. Because I had no real idea where I was going to go, it seemed to make sense to at least get 3 weeks of local calling. But by this time, with just over 2 weeks to go, and Vancouver looking much more likely, I decided to get a Vancouver number instead. That was one reason. The other was, because I owe my previous phone company over $200, and I don't know how much phone companies talk, I decided to give Rogers a fake address. Well not a fake address so much. Rather, the address for the SWAP office in Vancouver. There's a mailbox there that I can get mail delivered to. But it's not my living address. So no one would be able to find me. If that's what they wanted to do. Plus, in 2 weeks from now, it'll be a more real address than my address in Invermere. But by the time I'd given the retard on the phone a Vancouver address, it'd look a bit suspicious if I then asked for a number for a location 700 miles away.

So that finally got done. Except, being as retarded as Canada is, the retard on the phone didn't set up my voicemail. Despite what he said. So calling from my now active cell phone, I had to set-up my voicemail account. But alas, I was calling from Invermere with a Vancouver number. So that's long distance. So to set up my voicemail, cost me over a dollar. And I sent possibly the worlds most expensive text-message. I got a message from someone I know back in Halifax. So I sent her a 2 page reply. Sending a text, from Invermere, to Halifax, on a Vancouver number. That's double long-distance. And a 2 page message. That's quadruple long-distance. This one text cost me something like $1.50. Fuck Canada is retarded!

But finally... finally... after one of the longest journeys ever to get a fucking cell phone, I finally have an active number again. And read into it what you will, but it's a Vancouver number.

Just trying to get my cell phone active, Canada demonstrated unprecedented international levels of retardedness. And they would continue to do so, with what you would think would be a simple task in today's day and age. Buying a bus ticket.

Now I was leaving arranging my ticket out of Invermere until as late as possible. Because my intentions were changing so frequently, I didn't want to be tied down to anywhere earlier than I had to be. But I had noted down in my Filofax that April 1st was the latest day to buy my bus ticket out of Invermere. Why? Because Greyhound offers fairly significant 14-day advance purchase discounts. But it's quite symbolic that this was April 1st. Because somebody was having a fucking laugh. Or they were just Canadian and retarded.

So I go onto the Greyhound website. Do the usual due diligence of browsing the site and looking in the not so obvious places for any potential discounts or what have you. But I was happy with what I had decided on; an April 15th bus ticket to Vancouver. A night bus, so although at the sacrifice of getting the sights of driving through the Canadian Rockies, I'll get to save on a nights accomodation by sleeping on the bus. Plus I'll pull into Vancouver at a much more amicable hour. Something that I didn't do when I flew into Van back in November. And something that caused some minor headaches. And leaving Invermere in the afternoon, rather than the morning, will make it easier to arrange such errands as getting my damage deposit back. So although it'll be a shame not to get to see the Rockies one more time, it's nothing new to me now.

But having settled on this bus, I go about booking it. First the departure and arrival destinations. Then the fares. Then personal details and payment details etc. And once I've done all of this, I hit "Make payment", and sure enough... it doesn't work. It doesn't say why. It doesn't say if it's my fault or theirs. All it tells me, is it hasn't worked.

Thinking it was perhaps an Internet fault, I go through the whole process again. Selecting destinations. Fares. Then have to go back into my wallet and get my card out again. And enter all of those details. Plus my delivery address again. And I go to make payment... No dice. Doesn't want to work this time either. And just like the last time, it doesn't want to tell me why. It just wants to tell me that it's not working. Fucking retarded Canadians.

So fuck it. I'll have to book it over the phone instead. First I get all the speel about a $6 charge for booking over the phone. This is still worthwile for the 14-day discount. So I roll with it. And then I tell the retard woman on the phone what tickets I want. And after a while of waiting for the computer to think, she says "I'm sorry sir. You can't book tickets from that departure destination over the phone." Or online either I find out on asking. Why? She doesn't give me any clear answer on that. So how do I purchase tickets then? "You need to go to your nearest Greyhound station." And where is that? "What's your postcode? Your nearest Greyhound station is located in Windermere."

Well that's fucking bullshit! Not only did my cell phone charge me to call this free number. But in a day and age where you can set your damn TV to record programs for you over the Internet. And you can wire money all around the world. And you can play poker on a table with people playing in 10 different countries... In Canada, if you don't live in the right place, you can't even buy a bus ticket. I've bought things off people on eBay who managed to get them delivered to me here in less than a week for fucks sake. So how come one of the biggest bus companies in the world, can't get me my bus tickets, over a 2 week period? And worse still, why can't they set up their website to tell me the problem rather than having me enter my details twice, and make a pricy, probably long-distance phone call. I could set-up their website to do that for fucks sake. And in terms of writing Internet code, I'm near the bottom of the class. Fucking retarded Canada!

So what is my only option to buy bus tickets out of Invermere. I have to go all the way to Windermere. How far is Windermere? Couldn't tell you. I've never been there. And guess what. I didn't have a day off until yesterday. So I lost my 14-day advance purchase discount. Fucking retarded Canada!

But anyway. With yesterday off, I want to get these tickets bought. So on Thursday night I go onto Google maps and get a rough image in my head of how to get to the Windermere Greyhound. Then at about 10:30 yesterday morning, off I go.

Now this trip... it could go really wrong. The furthest out of town that I've walked since I've been here, is; do you remember when I went to Calgary? And there was all that carfuffle about getting the bus. How I started walking up the hill out of town. But then the bus came and I had to run back down. Well how far I got up the hill that day, well that's the furthest I've walked out of town since I've been here. Probably about a 20ish minute walk from my appartment. The Greyhound station was not listed on Google maps. So all I really had, was the highway that it was on, and the locations of some other business that were listed. And using the numbers of these businesses as marks, I'd made a rough estimate to the length of this journey. I was reckoning about 1 hour each way. I was still planning ong being back for Trailer Park Boys at 1. So off I go.

Bighorns sign Well after a 10-minute stop at A&W for breakfast; something that has worryingly become somewhat of a tradition on my days off, the first thing of note on this trip, was passing this sign on the way out of town. You remember how I spoke about the Columbia Valley Bighorns back in the early Invermere blogs? Well it looks like their season is starting again. And they have a game... well that's tomorrow. And I have another day off. If I get nothing else from this trip, that's worth knowing.

Up until that point there had been at least remnants of a sidewalk. A pavement. But shortly after here, it kind of disappeared. And for the rest of the walk, I was just plain walking on the side of the road. I don't even know the legality of that in this country. But too tight to pay for a taxi, not owning a car, and unable to buy bus tickets in Invermere, I didn't really see that I had any choice. If I wasn't able to walk to the bus station, then I would pretty much be stuck in Invermere. Forever.

Invermere sign Getting up to the top of the hill, there was still remnanats of a town. A few small businesses. Even a Tim Horton's drive-thru. But as soon as I'd passed this sign, things all of a sudden went rather dry.

And I was walking down this highway. All I had for navigation, was the mental image of Google maps. And the only guide that I had that I was walking in the right direction, was a couple of very likely, inaccurately placed icons, on Google maps. My only confirmation that the bus station was not in the other direction, was the fact that when I went to Calgary, the bus didn't stop before Radium. If there was a bus station on the way, they would have stopped there. Right?

But man... this road just went on...


And on...


And on...


And on...


And on...


It got to the point where you start to even doubt you're going in the right direction. But when you've walked for so long, it's kind of hard to turn back. Because you know, that after all that effort, your destination could be just around the next corner. That little effort further, could get you to where you want to go. Where as if you turn back now, you'll leave with nothing. But do you really want to carry on... in the wrong direction? I was wrestling with the idea of turning back ticketless. It's not like there was anyone to ask out here. I'd been walking for fucking ages; way longer than I'd anticipated. And I hadn't seen a single other pedestrian. And I still have no idea of the legality of walking down the side of a highway.

So when a truck with flashing lights pulls in about 30 yards ahead of the direction I'm walking, alarm bells start ringing. This wasn't a cop car. But who the knows who patrols the highways out here. It's Canada afterall. They're retarded.

What could have potentially been a significant blip in my journey, actually may have saved it. It turns out the guys in the truck were just pulling over to do some work on a tree. But it gave me the opportunity to ask if I was going in the right direction. Or had I just spent hours walking, for nothing?

Well happy days. I was going the right way, thanks to the mental image I had of Google maps. There was a giant bowling pin at the side of the road up ahead (don't ask). And according to these guys, the bus station was not far passed there. Good times.

Maybe I should have asked these guys to clarify their interpretation of "not too far." Because it actually turned out to be quite a bit further. So far in fact that I had began to doubt my bearings again. Had I somehow walked straight past the Greyhound station and not realised it? Until finally... finally... I see a gas station up ahead. The kind of place where you're likely to find someone selling Greyhound tickets.

Now if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Canadian's are fucking retarded.

You remember that sign earlier. The one where I was leaving Invermere. What did it say underneath it? That's right. "Invermere. Over 200 businesses to serve you." Over 200 businesses to serve you!

So can someone please justify to me, why, Greyhound buses would stop picking people up from a town with over 200 businesses, in favour instead, of picking people up, in the middle of a fucking field.

Look closely at this picture:

Windermere Greyhound station

You see that gas station in the bottom right corner. Click on the picture to enlarge it if you have to. Well that's the Windermere Greyhound station. And look at what it's surrounded by. A whole lot of fucking nothing.

Can someone please... please, justify to me why, you would stop picking up passengers in a town of over 200 businesses? Instead to pick them up in a field? In what turned out to be nearly a 2 hour walk from Invermere? Can someone please tell me that? Is there some kind of deal with the taxi companies in Invermere or something? Drumming up their business? Because this just defies logic. What possible justification can there be, to neglect the people of Invermere? Choosing instead to serve a very efficient bus service for all the local farm animals that live in Windermere? I mean this is fucking retarded. This really is fucking retarded. How many hundreds of staff are going to be leaving Pano at the end of next week? And they all have to get here. Canada, is fucking retarded!

And making you walk for 2 hours just to get here, you'd think that the service would be good. As nice as she was, the woman who worked in this Greyhound, was fucking retarded. I knew the bus I wanted to catch. I'd tried to book it 2 days ago online. Yet the woman in here could only get a daytime service from Invermere to Vancouver. Which I really didn't want. Having to leave early on the 15th. Arriving at night in Vancouver. Having to pay an extra nights accomodation. I don't think so. I actually had to tell this woman what to type into her little computer. And eventually we got there. But despite my ticket being booked to depart from Invermere, she was adamant that Greyhound's don't stop in Invermere anymore.

So why had I seen one pulling into Invermere as I was walking this morning? And why did I catch one from Invermere when I went to Calgary? Apparently, Greyhounds aren't supposed to stop in Invermere anymore. It's just that no one told the drivers this. So they still stop in Invermere and pick people up. They just aren't supposed to. So how the fuck do you know if your bus is going to Invermere or not? It's a 2-hour walk with a bacpack to get to this bus station. And you'd feel pretty fucking stupid if the first stop that the bus made was pulling into Invermere.

To her credit, although retarded, this woman was a great help. My trip to Vancouver involved catching 2 buses. And the first was not a Greyhound. Despite appearing on the Greyhound schedule. And this woman took my phone number, and told me that when she sees the bus driver tomorrow, she'll ask him if he stops in Invermere, and give me a call. And to her credit, I got that call this afternoon. And he does stop in Invermere. It's just he might not be the one driving the bus on the day that I leave. So she's told me she'll call me again before the 15th to confirm. And I think she will. She might not be able to work a computer. But she's been a blessing in possibly saving me walking for 2 hours with all my worldly possessions on my back.

But this really fucking is retarded. No one even knows if the buses stop in Invermere or not anymore. It's just a lottery. And worse than that, there's 2 places that they might stop if they do go to Invermere. Luckily they're only a couple of hundred yards from each other, so if you guess wrong, you probably have the time to run to the other stop before they leave again. But fuck man! How can catching a bus, be so fucking difficult? Canada is fucking retarded!

I got my tickets though. Which was a monkey off my back. But one downside of walking for 2 hours to get to the bus station, is that you have to walk another 2 hours to get back from the bus station. Back down the side of the highway. Again.

And it was somewhat comical, when on my journey back, there was someone walking in the opposite direction. Obviously a traveller. Possibly trying to get to the bus station as well. He was walking with his thumb out in a half-hearted effort to pick up a ride. But hitching like that, you're living in a dream world. You've got to sell yourself to a driver. Look like you'll make their long journey fun if they pick you up. Walking with your back to the cars, not even looking at them. You're never going to get anywhere like that.

As we walk passed each other, we say hi. And then there's kind of a snigger from each of us. Both lauging at the surreality of the situation, that there is actually someone else stupid enough to be walking along the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. He was the only person I saw walking all day once I'd left Invermere. And I'd bet I could make that journey a hundred more times and never see another soul. Which was why it was nearly hysterical to see each other here. We never ushered a word more than "hi". Yet we shared a joke that I'm still chuckling at now. "How can there be anyone else, this fucking stupid?," we were both thinking as we walked by.

Invermere In my new found positive view of the world, I take what I can from any situation. And it was a bit of a cunt having to walk this damn far to buy a bus ticket that in any non-retarded country, I would have been able to buy from my bed. But I needed the exercise. And I got the opportunity for a couple of nice pictures of Invermere from afar. This is Invermere. From the other side of the lake.

And also, just because I was getting bored walking along the side of a dusty road, as a little motivation for when my leg's good to go again; good to work properly on, here's a video I took walking down the side of Highway 93-95. I had abs before I left for Canada. Now I want them back.

I don't see any abs anymore!!! And there's a definite wobble when I'm walking. If that's not motivation to get the fuck down the gym, and get out running again, then I don't know what the fuck is!

In saying that though, I had just had an A&W breakfast on the way here. And A&W's been very good to me in my time in Invermere. But one thing that would eat away at me if I left it like this, is that I've only had one Subway since I've been here. I think I might have spoken about it in an early Invermere blog. But it was a really, really bad Subway. Well I've been going to Subway for years. Very regularly. From all the money I've spent on Subway over the years, I could probably own a Mercedes right now. And it just pains me to have a bad relationship with my local Subway. And it was as I was photographing Invermere from across the lake, that I decided to give my local Subway Invermere Subway another chance. A chance to make amends. I leave in less than 2 weeks. And it'd haunt me for the rest of my life if we had a bad relationship. So despite just showing a video that I took, a), as motivation to get in shape, and b), just because I thought it was funny. Either side of filming that video, I was getting fast-food. The lord works in mysterious ways.

So anyway, you remeber how last week I was saying how I have pretty much zero facial recognition nowadays. That in my extravagant youth, either drunk it away, or smoked it away, or whatever the fuck I did to my brain. But I just don't recognise people nowadays. There's not much I can do about it. Faces just don't stick in my head anymore.

Well I walk into Subway, and this guy is looking at me like he knows me. His face might look familiar, so I just kind of give him a raised eyebrows and nodding kind of greeting and walk on by. Order me a sandwich. Footlong Italian BMT. Toasted. Cheese. Lettuce, tomato, cucumber, green pepper, onion, mayonaise and pepper. Fuck I've missed this place. But as I'm trying to focus on my sandwich being created; you need to keep a close eye on these guys. Especially after a bad experience last time. As I'm trying to focus, Mr. I know who you are comes over. And he's like "Were you just walking up by Windermere?" Or something like that. "Fuck man. I thought we saw you. We were driving by. We would have picked you up if we'd realised." That's one of the reason's I always wear a baseball cap. I can hide my face from people. Harder to be recognised. And the harder it is to be recognised, the less you have to talk to people. Which suits me fine. We talk for a bit. I have no idea who he is. But that's my talent. No one will ever know that I don't know them. "Do you want a lift back?" I'm ok. I'll walk I tell him. Want to eat my sub in the Subway. Get a proper feel for the place. "Where do you live Kasper?" AHA! Kasper! He doesn't know me. Kasper is another of the lifty's. And we don't look a little bit similar, but for some reason he thinks I'm Kasper. I don't correct him. I've been pretending I know this guy for way too long now to suddenly come clean. So I just pretend I'm Kasper. The fact that I don't have a Danish accent now should be somewhat of a clue. But I just roll with it. I'm still not sure if I even know that guy or not. I might know him and he just got our names mixed up. Or I might have never seen him before. That's the fun of not recognising anyone. You just don't know.

What I took from this conversation, is one of the reason's that Canada, and yes, all of North America, are so retarded. I seriously injured my knee about 5 or 6 weeks ago. I still can't straighten it fully, and I still can't bend it fully. I might be 100 times less retarded than I was 5 weeks ago, but I still have something of a limp. Yet when I found out that I couldn't buy bus tickets over the phone or online, my thoughts were simply when is my next day off so I can walk to the bus station. Not going was never an option. Yet when I say that to Mr. Anonymous here, his reaction was "Holy Shit dude!" The thought of someone else walking that distance, is unbelievable to him. Yet to me, in at least a semi-retarded condition still, I didn't even think about it twice. No wonder everyone's so damn out of shape here.

My total journey time was in the region of 4¼ - 4½ hours. Factor in a quick stop at A&W, the stop to buy the tickets, and a stop at Subway, and that's less than 4 hours walking. At my limited speed, that's probably not even 12 miles. Yet this guy can't even comprehend this. I find that worrying. I find that really worrying. If you can't walk for 4 hours, the alarm bells really should be ringing. Yet somehow, I'm the one getting out of shape.

And I'm almost at the point of being able to do something about it. The problem I have, is that right now, I have all this pent up aggression. I'm chomping at the bit to be able to go out running again. Like a coiled spring ready to release. I don't want to "ease back" onto exercise. I'll lose all my motivation before I've got started. With the built up frustration I have right now, if you gave me a healthy knee again tonight, I'd run a marathon tomorrow. So I don't want to ease back onto exercise. Because that'll just take this aggression, and ease it out slowly. I'm just dying to be able to go. To be able to go hard. And I don't want to waste all this built-up energy with some kind of bullshit light exercising. I just want to go. And it's eating away at me. Do I start doing some light work now? Because I think I'm almost ready. Or do I wait? Wait until I can push it with no limits?

Speaking of which, I've been off the painkillers for a week or 2 now. And that makes me very fucking happy. Because as I've said 100 times before, I hate being effected by any kind of medical drug. But common sense is telling me, that just for a week or 2, I need to go back on them. Because my healing has started to go real slow. Real fucking slow. And I think that part of the reason for that, is that I'm able to carry out my daily functions satisfactorily now, with the limited movement I have in my knee. I was able to walk 12 miles yesterday afterall. So my knee doesn't feel the need to increase flexibility any further. And when I try to force it... well it hurts. Like when, after wearing a splint for nearly 2 weeks, I took it off, I had to consciously think to bend my leg. My body had got so used to walking straight-legged, that it didn't move my knee without me consciously prompting it. And I think the same thing has happened here. I've got so used to not using my knee fully, that my body's not thinking for itself, about making it better. So I need to consciously increase the flexibility in my knee. The only problem with that, is it hurts. So what I'm thinking, is if I reluctantly get back on the painkillers for a week or 2. Then throughout my day, everyday, I work at stretching out my knee. Under the canvas of painkillers, I should be able to push my knee further than without them. Hopefully speeding up the process to full flexibility once more. Because as I said when I did this injury; I don't give a fuck about skiing now. If my season's over, it's over. I just want to be 100% once the Summer comes. So I can get back exercising once again. Well Summer is coming. My Summer starts when my bus pulls into Vancouver on the morning of the 16th this month. And healing at the rate that I'm healing, I won't be 100% by then. So I might be back on my drugs again tomorrow. Oh joy. As I've said before though, for the rest of the season, nothing else matters. It's all about healing my knee.

As for Subway...

It was a good Subway. We've made peace now. I can leave Invermere with a clear mind and a full heart. I won't have this monkey on my back. This shadow hanging over me. The monster is out now.

I'll just go back quickly to why it's so important to me to be able to exercise. I've said most of this in the past, though not for a while. And I know there's a lot of people out there who don't look too fondly on those people who get up at 7am to go running etc. They look down their noses at us idiots. So why is it important to me?

Well first and foremost, health is the main reason. I pride myself on how rarely I get ill. I've still never taken a day off work sick. Never a day off ill at university. When most people catch a flu that will keep them in bed for a week, the worst I will suffer is a minorly sore throat for an hour. If you're in good physical condition, then your body can fight off nearly anything. And it's just nice to be able to get out of bed in the morning, and feel good. You know? Even on 3 hours sleep, I can get up and feel great. My bodies always ready for the day, because I treat it well. Living with Greg has been a glaring example of how people who don't look after themselves feel in the mornings. And if I had to go through every morning, feeling like he does... I think I'd kill myself. It's just good to feel healthy.

Then there's fitness. I've been in very good shape in my life. And I've been in very bad shape. And the reaction of this guy in Subway, at the thought of me walking a mere 12 miles, it speaks volumes to me. I don't want my endeavours in life to be limited by my physical capabilites. I've had times in my life I would get tired walking up a flight of stairs. Or walking to the shops around the corner. Then I've had times of having no limits to my capabilities. And believe me when I say this. It feels good to be fit. When you see other people. Getting tired walking up tiny hills in Invermere. Out of breath for walking up 2 flights of stairs. I wouldn't trade my place with them for all the money in the world. I've been in their position. And it's not fun.

And last, and probably least, there's the aesthetic advantages of being in shape. If you asked me to make a choice. I could either be healthy, or I could be aesthetically pleasing. Well there's only one choice. I'd choose health. Luckily the two, to a large extent, go hand in hand. And not only are there the obvious advantages, you know, sexually. If you're with a girl, it's good to know she likes what she's feeling. And when you're in peak shape, you don't have to worry about that. But you'll notice differences in the way you're treated as well.

There are so many connotations surrounding being fat. No one would be fat by choice. With some notable exceptions like offensive linemen and sumo wrestlers, no one wants to be fat. So if you go into a job interview as a tubby fucker, what does that say to your prospective employer? It says you're too lazy to get into shape. That you lack the motivation to get into shape. You lack the drive. You aren't strong-willed enough to lay-off the cheese burgers. All these qualities, that you quite simply don't need attached to you. There are so many stigmas attached to being fat, why let yourself get there? And you can make all the anti-discrimination laws you like. It's not going to change the way people see you. You've just got to hope that the interviewer is a fat fucker as well. These are stigma's you'll be burdened with, from both men and women.

And you can compensate for being a chubba, with humour for example. But man, you notice differences in the way you're treated when you're in shape. Maybe not as much as for women. Because who the fuck wants to chat with a fat chic right? But still, at the airport for example. And I've said this before. You get a female at check-in. A couple of jokes and a smile when you're in good shape, and you're guaranteed the extra leg-room seats. Your chances when your smile only goes to reveal 2 spare chins... not so good. And man, I always get the extra leg-room. I wouldn't fancy my chances if I went to the airport today though. Plus, you know. It's never a bad thing to look good on the beach.

At the end of the day, there are no disadvantages to being fit and in shape. And there are a butt-load to being fat. So the only thing stopping you from being in mint condition, barring injuries or exceptional illnesses (although fitness would help prevent these), is your own laziness and weak mind. And anyone you see in the street. In the pub. In a job interview. Anyone you see, anywhere in life. This will be an instant judgement they make about you. Before you open your mouth. Before you shake their hand. You're already considered lowly to the fit person standing next to you. And I don't want that burden in my life. Not that I don't have the ability to talk myself out of pretty much any situation. Hell I do that a lot. But I'd still rather not have to. And fuck, a wink and a smile go a lot further when you aren't carrying a D-cup on your chest.

You know something I haven't said in a while? Canadian's are fucking retarded!

Good situations, bad situations, you've got to turn them to your advantage. And one positive about Canadian's being retarded, are that since I bought my first cell phone back in Vancouver, I haven't paid them a penny yet. And they haven't even bothered sending me a warning yet. They're so slow and retarded about chasing me up for this money, that I only have about 7½ months to avoid paying them for, and I get kicked out of the country. Then they're fucked. Let the game begin. I don't want to blow my own trumpet. But do these retards really have a chance of catching me in 7½ months? I don't think so. Seeing as I don't even know where I'll be living 12 days from now, how the fuck will they know where I am? And good luck to them finding me if I happen to be living out of a tent for 3 months this Summer. Bring it on!

One question I haven't yet decisively answered yet, is will I be skiing again this season or not? And to be honest, I don't even know. Can I ski now? Almost certainly yes. Can I fall though? Possibly not without fucking up my knee some more. Which is where the doubt lays. I was initially planning on skiing on these 2 days off. But I got cold feet. And as God would have it, he made Canadian's retarded. And that meant I had to spend all day yesterday walking to Windermere. So it fucked up my plans a little. What I cannot change however, is that the roster for the final week is done already. So skiing or not, I'm still going to be Gondola and Magic Carpet. Or Red Carpet as it's actually called. It's just that sounds shit. Magic Carpet sounds better. And I've been there so much that someone actually called me Aladdin the other day. Fuck I hope that doesn't stick. Well initially I was happy to be getting so much magic carpet. Something that's not the Gondola. It's all good. And for the first few shifts, it was good. Now I think I want to kill myself.

At least on the Gondola, you can go inside. Play some Sudoku. Take your mind off things. On the carpet, you just have to sit there. And you can't look away for more than a second, because someone will fall off. So you just have to sit there. And sit there. Which, maybe once a week, is quite nice. Give yourself some thinking time. But in my last stint of 5 days working, 4 of those shifts were carpet. It's open for 7 hours a day. I'll be there for 6½ of them taking out a lunch break. That means that over a 5 day period, I was sat on the bench at the magic carpet, just sitting there, for 26 hours. I was going fucking mad. On the final day, the only thing that kept me sane, was writing, in my head, a storyboard for just how boring the magic carpet it. And then doing the photography for this little film. It was so complete by the time I'd actually got home, that I pretty much just had to throw this little film together in Window's Movie Maker. Detailing, just how boring the Magic Carpet is. Isn't it ironic. The only thing that kept me from killing myself out of boredom, was preparing a moving, showing the boredom.

Here is, the world premiere, of: Working the Red Carpet: Panorama Mountain

Whether that video gave over the intended message, or whether it didn't, you still don't understand, just how hard, it is, to be sat there. Day. After day. It's killing me. I'm writing this at 22:15 on Saturday night. In less than 12 hours from now, I'm going to be sat there again. I'm scared. I'm really scared.

Now somehow since I last wrote, I've accumulated a fuck of a lot that I want to say. And I'm nowhere near done. And being nearly 22:30, I cannot be fucked to check through all that I've written already tonight, to get it uploaded onto the website. So... I'm going to make this one of them hybrid blogs. By the time you read this sentence, what you've just read will be surprisingly known, as "Part 1". What you will read, subsequent to this point, will cleverly be called, "Part 2". And that's about as simple as I can say it. I'll try and get part 2 written tomorrow. Though that's something of an irrelevancy to you. Because by the time you're reading this, Part 2 will already have been written. So right now I'm really just talking to myself. Which is probably a symptom of too much carpet time. I'm going to bed.

Part 2 -
Written April 05th

Man... English people are fucking retarded as well!

There's a butt-load of them whom appeared at Pano over my 2 days off. And man they're dicks! They remind me of me somewhat. 2 years ago. Just drinking, being generally obnoxious and causing as much shit as possible. Like in the good old days. But I can tell by there accents that they're from down South somewhere. Somewhere not too far from me. And it's been so long since I've heard that accent. I mean, I don't listen to myself when I speak. And the only other 2 English lifty's are from retarded parts of the country. Barnsley and Newcastle. So they sound retarded anyway. But having not heard a southern accent for a while, it stands out like a sore thumb. And man... we sound like dicks. Kind of like how I thought Canadian's all sounded retarded before I came out here for the first time. But only this time, I speak the same way as these retards. Man, I can't believe that's how I sound. English people are fucking retarded.

Carrying on from yesterday though. You know who else is retarded? Gays! I refuse to call them the gay community. They aren't a community. That's just some retarded politically correct phrase that someone came up with, that really doesn't mean anything. But why are they retarded? Well... They're all out appealing for same sex marriage. And it came to the forefront in the news this week because Iowa has now ruled that same sex couples can get married. See here. And they're all celebrating and that. They can get married and that. Woohoo. But they've got so damn caught up in campaigning for equal rights, that they've forgotten to actually think this shit through. Logically.

They want to get married. Married, as Christians. They, as gays, want the right to partake in Christian ceremony. Have they... not read the bible or something? Do they not remember that God hates gays? They've won this right to partake in a religious act, wholly forbidden by the religion itself. What have they actually achieved here? If they're Christian's, well they're obviously not very good at it. So they're going to Hell anyway. And if they're not, then what the fuck have they been fighting for this whole time? Marriage is one of those things that just pisses me the fuck off. People, with no Christian connections whatsoever, partaking in marriage... just because everyone else is doing it. That's all it is. There is no logical reason otherwise. You can spout on about showing one's love for each other and all that bullcrap. But ½ of marriages end in divorce now anyway. The vows aren't worth the paper they're written on. People just do it, because everyone else is doing it. But gay marriage. Now that, is really fucked up.

God hates gays. So in a place of God, you're going to piss him off, by tainting even further, the supposed holy sanctuary that is marriage? Why? What right have you really gained? Does it really bother you that much that the government views you as a legal couple?

Now I can see the logic for wanting equal rights. But why fight for a change in marriage laws? Why not fight for the recognition that the laws associated with marriage are no longer representative of the beliefs of the people? With half of marriages ending in divorce. With less and less people buying into the God bullcrap, the laws associated with marriage, are becoming more and more unfair. I don't really know what rights this marriage gives gay people. The right to adopt of something? I don't know. But if that is the case, should the fight not be, to change the law so that marriage is no longer a consideration in a couples right to adopt? Because what if a non-Christian couple wanted to adopt? Should they be forced to partake in this ceremony contradicting their beliefs, just for the right to be treated equally?

I can see the gay cause. But they're fighting for the wrong damn thing. All they've achieved in this Iowa case, is the right to partake in a religious ceremony that clearly contradicts what they believe anyway. They need to be fighting for changes in the rights associated with marriage. Because in today's day and age... how many people are really still believing that there's a man sat up in space? Seeing everything. Hearing everything. Judging people. No one believes that bullcrap anymore. It's just that the law hasn't been updated to agree with the beliefs of the time.

Now I won't get started on the qualms I have with the "justice" system that we have in the West, because I'll be here all night. And if you read these blogs regularly, then I'm sure that you'd already know that. But that is where the campaign and protest needs to be targetted. Winning rights to marry? For gay people? That's like a vegetarian winning a free big-mac. It's a nonsensical prize to them.

I won't get started on the "justice" system right now. But one thing I do want to address briefly, is the flaws in the democratic system. The following video is hosted by the BBC website. So on the condition that they don't remove it, it should still work properly.

Now let's just go back, and clarify the fundamentals of a democracy. In a one man, one vote system, the logic is that in the pursuit of votes, leaders will act based upon the wants of the people. If they keep the most people happy, then this will ensure their reelection. This is democracy. Goverment, essentially work for the people. They put into practice, the will of the people. And the West have been out banging on and on about democracy and how great it is for years. Despite my reservations. Can you believe that?

Yet all of a sudden, in Afghanistan, they suddenly don't agree with what the Afghan people want. In the pursuit of votes, the Afghan leaders are essentially legalising rape. Agree with it or not, you're irrelevant. This is the Afghan democracy. And this is the will of the Afghan people. At least to the extent that the leaders are willing to pursue these new laws in the hunt for votes. But all of a sudden, the powers that be in the West, suddenly don't like that democracy, is the reason for the legalisation of rape. And all of a sudden, they're pulling for a reversal of a law, implemented due to the democratic system. Why? Because they don't like it. And all of a sudden, just like how before the financial crisis, capitalism was the best thing since sliced bread. Again, depite what I said. But now capitalism is being regulated out of the ass, because they've realised it doesn't work. Now as well, they're trying to regulate democracy. I've said it a hundred times, capitalism and democracy are both systems too flawed to be rolled out over the scales at which the West tries to do it. But they do it anyway. And now, just like they were forced to do a U-turn on the benefits of capitalism and the free-market by enforcing bail-outs and heavy regulation, they're now attempting to reverse a law, passed under the democratic system. Why? Oh, because they don't like it. Now they want regulated democracy as well.

Now I'm not saying that I agree with the premise of legalised rape. Far from it. But if we're going to live by a system of democracy. A system that I don't agree with, then you have to respect the laws that a particular democracy chooses to enforce. You can't all of a sudden reject the democratic system, just because you don't like the laws they pass. Like the U-turn on the free-market, this is just one of many demonstrations of the many flaws in the democratic system.

I mean, the bare bones of capitalism, and the bare bones of democracy, are the same exact thing. In democracy, you get votes. In capitalism, you vote with money. And what was found in the market place, is that if there is many suppliers, and one buyer for example, then the buyer has all the power. Why? Because the spead of power of the suppliers meant that each supplier acting individually had irrelevant power, compared to that of the buyer. For example, the power of Tesco's back home, meant that they could manipulate suppliers, because there was so many of them. What was the result? The suppliers had to merge, so that if Tesco's started acting like an asshole, they had no other supplier to turn to. It gave them power. This relates to democracy, because if there are a large number of similar parties, the power, or votes, that they receive, will be spread among them. Where as if there's only one party of a particular stance, they will receive all the votes of people who agree with their views? See what I mean?

Imagine, that one eighth of a country is racist. And there is one racist political party. Seven eighths of the country will vote for a non-racist party, and one eighth will vote for this party. But imagine then, that there are 10, non-racist parties in that country. And they all have similar sway from the voters. Well each of these parties, would receive approximately 10% of the seven eighths of non-racists voters, votes. Or approximately, 8.75% of total votes. Where as the racist party, despite being supported by only one eighth of the country, would receive around 12.5% of total votes. So by default, they would be elected to power. Because the other parties, as with the suppliers, do not have enough power. The only way to ensure that the racist party wasn't elected, would be for the other parties to merge. But they are unwilling to do this. So although everyone might have had one vote, what the majority wanted, still didn't come into effect.

And in the overly complicated democratic systems that are implemented in the West, this is what we see happen. And it turns out that often, the best thing that a political party can do, is not to do what they think is right. Rather to just do what no one else is doing. I don't know the Afghan democratic system. Not in the slightest, so everything I'm saying now is hyperthetical. But maybe this was the flaw. One third of people wanted this legal rape law. But in an effort to win votes, the party in power is passing this legislation, not because it thinks it's the right thing to do. Rather that all the other parties think it's the wrong thing to do. And in the flawed system that is democracy, this is the best way to ensure their reelection into power.

I won't get bogged down now with how I would implement a political system. We'd be here all night. But I'm just trying to demonstrate the fatal flaws in democracy. Flaws that I'm surprised have only become apparent now. But the democratic system is one stood by so dilligently by the West, that they blindly implement it in whichever coutries they choose to invade. But the reality of it, is that it isn't a system that any country has perfected yet. So why force it on other countries? Now a load of women in Afghanistan are getting raped because no one thought this one through properly.

Democracy doesn't work. Capitalism doesn't work. Yet we try to force it on the rest of the world. The only good thing about both of them, is they're maniplatable systems. So the man who benefits from them, isn't the good man. The righteous man. The man who benefits, is the sneaky fucker. The one who looks out for himself. Someone with the intelligence to manipulate the flaws in the system to their own favour. If you play by the rules. Do what you're supposed to do. That's when you get burned. You've just got to learn to play the game.

And along with Canadian's, English, gay's and the West, you know who else is retarded? Fucking American's.

That's an obvious one. The G20 summit this week. Big, big news. Especially if you follow the types of news feeds I follow. And on the day of the G20, I was watching Hell's Kitchen, as I do. A show played directly before Fox news: America's most watched news channel. By quite some margin if I'm not mistaken.

Anyway, in more than one of the many ad breaks that they have in Hell's Kitchen, they have quick promos of what is coming up on the news after the show. On the day of the G20 remember. This promo starts with: "These might be tough economic times..." So I'm thinking, man. Maybe for once Fox is really reporting the news. It continues, "... but wait until you see how much pet owners have been spending on their pets collars."


Let me just remind you again. This was the day of the G20 summit. Barack Obama's first major overseas visit. The world in economic gloom. The worst crisis since the 30's. And the only way we got out of that one was by having a massive war. Fox News. America's most watched news channel. The main story of the day... is... About how much pet owners are spending on dog collars. One's with diamonds in and stuff. No wonder so many American's are so dumb. Man... American's are fucking retarded! That really is fucking retarded!

I had a plan. You know me, I tend to think things through too much. And I had this awesome plan.

In times of high unemployment, where I might struggle to get a job in Vancouver. To make ends meet and get some extra beer money, my plan was to become a full-time sperm donor. You gotta play to your strenghs right?

And in more detail, my plan was to work as a sperm donor on the side, not only here, but all around the world. And over the next 5 years, I should be able to father so many children in so many countries in so many continents, that I'd have offspring everywhere. After about 5 years of work, I was planning on freezing myself. Leaving instructions to unfreeze me, 150 years from now. By which time, 6 generations later, my offspring have multiplied to the extent that I have thousands and thousands of great, great, great, great, grandchildren. All over the world. And with all these minions under my control, I was going to create an army, not too dissimilar to Al-Qaeda; with cells everywhere, and take over the world. That was my plan. And even if I couldn't carry it out all the way, well at least I'd be getting paid to whack-off for the next 5 years.

Well trust retarded Canada to fuck everything up. They've only gone an passed some retard legislation that means that I can't get paid to jack-off anymore. So fucking Canada, they have gone and ruined my plan to take over the world. How fucking rubbish is that? I do all this work coming up with a plan to take over the world. And Canada fucks it up. Why? Fucking democracy, that's why. Fuck, Canada's retarded. They ruin every plan I come up with. What's wrong with paying someone to jiz into a cup? Eureka idea!... Maybe I could set up an underground sperm bank raquet. That's genius. I'd make money, and get all the porn I could wish for. How come I've never thought of this one before? Plus if I employed myself full-time, then I could bring my world domination plan into effect. I'm going to have to give this one some serious consideration.

Incidentally, I just put "Retarded Canadian" into Google images. There are 97,600 images of retarded Canadians on Google. That's how retarded they are. See, I'm not imagining it.

Seeing as we seem to be on the retard theme today, along with Canadian's, English, gay's, the West and American's, you know who else is retarded? Greg. My flatmate. I've actually started referring to him as the friendly retard. Not to his face. But that is honestly what he is. One of the nicest guys you can meet. But fuck is this guy retarded.

You remember how despite having a leg in a splint, it was me who had to walk for 2 hours to get a new key cut when we had a new lock put on? That was because of his retardedness. And how, again being in a splint, it was left up to me to sort out toilet paper. And just lately, he was late with rent again! It kind of should be the first thing you think of when you get paid right? I need to put this much aside for rent. And then I'll spend the rest. Well not Greg. It doesn't really dawn on him until rent day is here, and he doesn't have it. So on my day off yesterday, I had to stay in, just to pay his rent for him. He wasn't going to be in at a time that the landlord's daughter could come around. So I had to stay in to do it for him. He initally left me the wrong amount. I had to count it and get more money off him. But somehow, he always has 3 or 4 days off a week. I have 2. Yet I have to spend my day off, making sure I'm in at a time where I can pay his rent for him. I don't know how this happens.

He's into monster trucks. So I guess that goes a long way to explaining it. I've tried to convince him that they're just big cars. If they called them big cars not monster trucks, no one would look at them twice. It's just that they put monster in the name, and all of a sudden, they're more than just big cars. I've tried explaining this to him. But he's infatuated with his big cars. Now that is fucking retarded!

He's like the big friendly giant. Just shorter and retarded.

Columbia Valley Bighorns vs Wildcats Moving on from the subject of retards, one positive outcome of Canada's retardedness, was that I found out, from the sign whilst I was walking out of town, that yesterday was a Bighorns football game. And man, I miss football. At times I considered doing a masters just to carry on playing. But in the end the lure of travelling was too strong to turn down. But I still really miss football, so I thought I'd go to this game for a bit.

It turned out to be little more than a preseason scrimmage. But watching these high-school kids play ball... It made me kind of nostalgic.

Before I'd even got to the field, I could smell football. And I've never noticed this before, but football has a smell. I guess it's just the smell of the grass getting cut up. But before I could see the football game, I could smell the football game. That made me a little sad.

The level these guys played at though. High-school kids. They could have beaten our university team. No doubt about it. And this is a little mountain town high-school team in Canada. It was so good to be back around football again. If only for a little while.

As well as some pictures, I took this video. It doesn't tell too much of a story. But I was stood there on the sidelines, just gagging for a chance to play. Man I miss football.

And I have no idea who or where the Wildcats are either. They could be a team of rapists and axe-murderers for all I care. I just wanted to see some ball baby!

Columbia Valley Bighorns vs Wildcats As this is a travel blog, I suppose I should talk some more about my travelling. Where I am up to now.

Well, after getting a phone number, you'd think I'd be firing off CV's in all directions right now. The truth is, that I've only had the time to send of 2 so far. Although my CV, or resume as it is over here, is fairly standard, and I will only make minor alterations for each job, you have to make each cover letter very individual. And if I'm going to wow an employer in a time of high-unemployment, the cover letter is going to have to do it. So each job application takes an hour or so. So I've only had the time to do 2 so far, what with it taking over 4 hours to do a simple task like buy a bus ticket. I simply haven't had the time. Those 2 jobs? Both in hostels. One in Vancouver. An HI that was advertising for front-desk staff. And another hostel in Victoria. A place I loved to stay at when I was there. And this is as far as I've got. I'd love to tell you that I hoped this would be enough. But it this economic climate, I'm probably going to have to apply for 500 jobs to get one call back. So I'm not too optimistic. But I have in my head, a select few places that I'd actually want to work. Once they're out of the way, it's going to have to just be a case of firing a mass of CV's to places that I simply could work. And with the time contraints that I have now, the hope of getting a job sorted before getting to Vancouver... I think the chance is pretty remote. I can live in hope though. God fucking owes me. So maybe he could nail me this job in Victoria. I'm sure he gets Internet up in space, so if you're reading this God, get me that job in Victoria, and we'll call it even!

Columbia Valley Bighors vs Wildcats You know how sometimes, you know you should do something. Common sense is telling you to do it. Instinct is telling you to do it. Everything says do it. But you don't do it. Well I'm in that kind of situation with my Tachyon XC. The extreme sports head-cam I bought right before fucking up my knee. Well what does common sense say? Common sense says, I have zero use for this camera. Brand new still, it has a value of $150. Sell it. My instinct says, sell it. So that was what I was going to do.

I was on eBay 2 days ago. I'd part written the advert to sell this thing. I'd taken multiple pictures of the product to use in the listing. And then, just to do a little research about the product, I went onto the Tachyon website. And just my luck, they're having a "free worldwide postage" promotion right now. What does that mean? That means that I wouldn't be able to recoup the full value of the camera again.

Now I've studied economics in the past. I've got a degree in business. And common sense says, that the money that I spent on this product. That is a sunk cost. You can't do anything about that. All that matters now, is what you do with this product to get the most value from it. I have no use for an extreme sports camera. So the value I receive from it, in terms of use, is probably zero. The financial value I could receive from selling it, even if it is below the cost that I bought it at, is probably in the region of $130. So common sense, logic, says sell it.

Tachyon XC So can someone please explain to me, because I surely can't, why I've come to the decision to keep this camera. Something is stopping me from selling this thing. And I can't explain why. I know this might be one mighty boring story, but I just have a feeling that it's something that I'll call upon again in the future sometime. I don't know why. But if I have this extreme sports camera, then I have reason to do extreme sports. Probably not the best reason, but reason none the less. I can film snorkelling, for example. Not exactly an extreme sport I know. But I just thought that I'd put this in here. Because common sense. Logic. They're telling me to sell this thing. Yet I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I just have a feeling... a feeling, that I'll be calling upon this story again in the future.

You remember how I tried to show recently, that the smallest actions can snowball to be meteoric in your life. But you just don't know which actions are going to impact you in that way. Well whatever there is in my brain telling me not to sell this. Whatever that tiny-teeny action is happening up there... I have a feeling that's going to come back to me somewhere. This camera, for better or for worse, is going to impact me somehow. And I don't know how. But something stopped me from listing that item.

And just on a side-note, it still pisses me off that I can't use this thing to film my Panorama skiing. I'm beginning to already forget what some of the runs are like at Pano it's been so long since I've skiied. And what I'd give to be able to get a video memory of these runs by using this camera. Fuck that annoys me. Not so much now. But 2 years from now, say, I'm going to want to be able to call on something like that to jog my memory. To remember my skiing at Pano. And one stupid little, very avoidable fall as I was skiing... that's robbed me of that opportunity. Fuck this injuries a pain.

I'm almost done with this blog now. However, I cannot be fucked to check through it tonight, so I'm going to finish off another time. Probably tomorrow. I still have at least 2 more demographics to go along with Canadian's, English, gays, The West, American's and Greg, who are fucking retarded. So I'll have to fit that in before I finish off tomorrow. There are not enough hours in a day!

Part 3 -
Written April 06th

Man, 2 days ago I was bitching and moaning about what a cunt it was to have to work the fucking magic carpet every single day. So much so that I even made a video to show, just how much of a cunt it was. Yet all of a sudden today, I've just come back from one of the best days of work that I've had.

Magic carpet thermometer The sun was shining so bright I had to go inside my shack to prevent any serious sunburn. The thermometer outside of the lift reached nearly 35°C. And even though that wasn't the actual temperature, rather the result of having a full day of blue skies in the direct sunlight, it still felt pretty damn nice. And the lift was so damn quiet that I had it stopped seemingly as much as I left it running today. Because, why keep it running when no one's on there right? I have no desire to be a good employee after the way this company treats people. Like banning stealing from the great hall and gay things like that. So if it was the only factor, I would keep the lift running indefinitely, just to cost them money in energy. Unfortunately, I'm too environmentally concerned, so every time I got the opportunity, I switched it off. And that meant that for many short spells, this lift was dormant.

However, it could have been much better. Do you ever get the feeling that God sent someone down to earth from space, just to piss you off? To make your life harder? Like your own, personal devil?

Well there has been this fucking retarded Asian woman skiing on the magic carpet for 2 straight days now. This is the bunny hill. The beginner hill. Most people will do 3 or 4 runs here to find there feet, then they go and ski a proper hill. And at the very least, they'll use the platter hill as well. If for nothing else, it would provide some variety. Afterall, the magic carpet is only 150 metres. You'd get bored of that pretty quick. You would think anyway. Apparently not. For 2 days, for pretty much the whole day, this one, retarded Asian woman has just gone round, and around, and around, and around. And everytime she goes around, she has to come back up on the carpet. Which takes 2 or 3 minutes from top to bottom. And when there's someone on the carpet, you have to be paying attention to it. Because shit can go wrong at anytime.

Well today, and yesterday, for periods extending probably beyond half an hour, this retard Asian woman was the only one riding the magic carpet. Meaning that if some twist of fate had meant that she had suddenly died unexpectedly last week, and she wasn't riding the magic carpet this week. Well that would mean that I could have just been chilling out in the sun a butt-load more. Just relaxing. Rather than having to supervise her. She is, my own, personal devil. One of those people, where my life would just be that much better if she didn't exist. Fuck that was pissing me off.

Devil Woman So much so that I even took a picture of her. Look at this devil woman!

To spare your eyes, I'll keep her face hidden.

I've decided that I should make a retard box. That's just a box where I put everything in the world that is fucking retarded. Put the retard things in the box, and their retarded aura can no longer influence you. This retard Asian woman is going in the retard box. She can sit between Greg and the gays.

Maybe there was another reason this day was so good though.

I was planning on trying skiing again on my last couple of days off. But at the last moment I got cold feet. And the paranoia of the risk of reinjuring my knee and having to go through another 6 weeks of self-rehab kicked in.

Well finally today, something just clicked. I was sitting inside my lift shack. Sheltering from the sun. Sitting on the surface, swinging my legs. And I just at that moment, decided that fuck it. It's last chance saloon for me right now. Now or never. I might never be back at Panorama again. So if I ever want to ski these runs again, then it's now. There's still risk right now. I still don't have full flexibility of my knee, so there is a chance of a fall in the wrong direction reinjuring the ligament. However. It's a risk I'm going to take. When? Tomorrow.

I have the Gondola am shift tomorrow. That means that I'll finish work at 15:15. 1¾ hours before the rest of the lifts close. So tomorrow, after work, I'm going to take my skis. My ski boots. My poles. For the first time in about 6 weeks. And not do anything extreme. Nothing intense. Just take them over to the bunny hill, and give my knee a little test. See how the cogs work in there. Then if all goes well, maybe I'll even have a slow run down from the Mile 1.

After tomorrow, I have 2 days off. My last days off of the season, so my last chance to go up the mountain. And all being well tomorrow, I'll hopefully be in good enough health that I can maybe even get up to the summit again. Probably not, but to even just get to the top of Champagne and see the views from Panorama one last time. That would be worth it. So we're going to have to see how this goes. Maybe it'll all go so well that I can even pull out my Tachyon and do some Panorama filming. Though I think that may be pushing my luck a bit too far. It could all go very pear-shaped as well I suppose. And if it all goes really wrong, I might be back in my zimmer-splint before I leave Pano. But fingers crossed it all goes well. And just as a farewell to the mountain more than anything else, I can get a couple more runs in.

I was thinking about this today. I don't think I could have made this injury any worse, had I tried to. There were staff members using the magic carpet today. Skiers who were learning to snowboard. And snowboarders learning to ski. Kind of just to dip their toes into the poisened chalice before the hill closes. And before my knee went on me, one of the things that I pledged to do before the close of the season, was teach myself to snowboard. Not to an especially high level. But to just have a go at it. That was one of my plans. As was making these Pano movies with my Tachyon XC. In fact that was such a plan that I had even taken the steps to order the camera. And remember the day that my knee went on me? Well I was skiing down to the bottom of Champagne the moment that I fell, with the intention of going up to the Taynton Bowl and skiing some runs I'd never done. These were 3 things that I'd pledged to do before I finished for the season.

And the reason that I was saying that I couldn't have made this injury any worse had I planned it, is that I injured myself with 6 or 7 weeks left in the season. With an injury that takes 6 or 7 weeks to heal. Had it taken 5 weeks to heal, then I would have had a week to do all of this stuff. Had it taken 8 weeks to heal, and I would have never had a shot at being back in time. As it is though, I am coming back to health, just in time to not be able to do any of this stuff that I'd planned; I'd pledged, that I would do before the season's end. And that's almost worse that being crippled for 10 weeks. Because all of this stuff is so close that I can touch it. But I can only get finger tips to it. I just can't grab it. And that pisses me off. The fact that I am so, so close to being in a physical condition to try snowboarding. I'm probably only 2 weeks away from being healthy enough that I could make a decent movie with my Tachyon. And all of this stuff I want to do... it's just going to get snatched away from me come Sunday. Just as I'm ready, the hill is going to close. What a fucking cunt life can be eh! I couldn't have planned it worse if I'd tried.

A couple of other things that I found out at work today. First, you remember Kat? I think I probably mentioned her in some of the early Invermere blogs. I almost ended up living with her Well I don't see her too much nowadays since she lives up at the mountain. But I was talking to her at lunch today, and it turns out that she's going to Vancouver too after the season. So that's cool. We always got along pretty well. So there'll be someone else from Pano there. And the other thing, was that you remember there was the prospect of tree-planting with Pete? Pete, one of the ticket validators at the mountain, is a tree-planting supervisor in Ontario in the Summer time. And he was looking for workers. And I was thinking about maybe doing that. Something that I was slow to get around to, and then my knee injury put an end to any desires for that work. Well it turns out that Jared, one of the other lifty's, did talk to Pete. And he is doing tree planting with Pete. So I hope it goes really badly. Because if I see pictures of it on Facebook and it turns out to be a really awesome Summer, then I'm going to be pissed. And I don't want to have to live in regret.

Now I have some more people to put into my retard box before I finally finish this blog. To join Canadian's, English, gays, The West, American's, Greg, and the Asian devil woman in my retard box, I would also like to add medical scientists. They can all go in the box too.

"Why?" I hear you ask. "Aren't medical researchers making the world a safer place? Safe from disease, illness and French people?" Well, yes they are. But I'm still putting them in the box.

They're retarded. Because just like a horse wearing blinkers, they can only see one way. And they just run that way. They run towards the light. Oblivious of anything going on surrounding them. They are going to heal people. Make them better. And they haven't considered the consequences.

The justification for medical research, isn't a logical macro argument. And if you read these blogs you'll know that thinking in the macro is what matters to me. It's thinking in micro terms, looking at individuals rather than masses, that leads to poor decision making. And these medical researchers and doctors, they do what they do, for a couple of reasons. One, so they can be the hero. Provide joy and celebration, and to get their dick sucked by children when they save their family from dying of AIDS of something. They like to be praised. And that's a reason they do it.

The other reason they do it, is out of fear. Out of fear of losing a loved one. Fear that they could not cope. And out of fear for their own death. They're afraid to face reality, so this is their vain attempt at achieving eternal life.

And these two things, they help these doctors sleep at night. They can sleep picturing little Johnny's happy face when his whole family isn't going to die of AIDS. And they can sleep, safe in the knowledge, that in their warped mind, we're that one step closer to eternal life. And this is their motivation. All very micro reasons. Helping individual people. They haven't stopped to take the macro view.

And the macro view, is that nature will always balance this kind of shit out. Their has to soon be a massive, nature inspired cull on the human population. Because it cannot be sustained, and grow, at the levels that it is doing. The removal of plant life. The extinction of animal species. These are all things that we, as people, need, to exist. And as they're gradually being eroded, the natural balance that allows us, as a species to exist, is disappearing. Plants, for example, provide the oxygen we need to breathe. As we continue to destroy them, the oxygen levels go down, and the human population goes up. And this creates an imbalance. And in this situation, nature would usually create more plants based on increased CO² levels, and the balance would be restored. But we're taking the land vacated by the destroyed plants, and building cities. Or creating farmland. And we're making this land, uninhabitable by plants. We aren't allowing the natural balance to be restored. And resultingly, human populations are growing at a rate that nature cannot restore the balance again. And it's going to get to a point... it has to get to a point, where this balance is restored. That is how the existence of creatures has been since the beginning of time. So unless the human species is something special that can live in an environment which lacks the very fundamentals that were used to evolve us as a species and as a planet, then this balance has to be restored. Soon.

How this will be done is anyone's guess. Global warming and the resulting increase in natural disasters is killing off a butt-load of people every year at the moment. Tsunamis. Earthquakes. Floods. You name it. Even in historically safe lands from natural disasters, like the UK, strange natural occurances are happening. Just look at the floods from recent years. So this has to be the front runner. And if I was a betting man, I'd be down the bookies to put a couple of quid on an uprecedentedly large natural disaster occuring within the next few years. And nature had a good go with AIDS as well. That took out a few people. But as yet, the human population, something of a virus in this story, has been largely able to defend against natures efforts. Which is why, as the imbalance continues to grow, natures efforts to restore balance, will increase.

Well how does this justify putting the medical doctors in the retard box? Well it does that because they're some of the front-runners in the efforts to keep this imbalance growing. By saving the people dying of AIDS, they're keeping the human population high. And they're thwarting nature's efforts to minimise it. Which, if you agree with what I've said, will only go onto lead to greater attempts to lower human population, with more powerful diseases. Of more deadly natural disasters. Or more French people.

But they can't see this. In their blinkered, micro vision, these people only see the smiling face of little Johnny. Or they can ease their own fears. They are looking at each person individually. Where as in reality, to make realistic decisions, you need to look at the macro. You need to look at people as a species. You cannot consider individuals. Maybe you even have to look at animals as one. And plants as one. Human population is growing as other animals are becoming extinct. So maybe that is the natural balance. I don't think it is, but you never know. But for their blinkered, very selfish, efforts to heal people, the medical doctors have a place next to America in the retard box.

You know how all of that got kicked off in my brain? I was watching Daily Planet on Discovery Channel the other day. And there was this doctor on their getting a big boner about the recent advances in stem-cell research. And that jackass just got me thinking. Strange how the smallest things can make your mind wonder. For most of that interview I was just sat their thinking that this guy had a weird head.

Well I've finally almost finished this blog.

I would still like to add the residents of Broughton in Milton Keynes to the retard box however, based upon this article.

I am big... Big! On the invasion of big brother into our private lives. I think that Government already has way too much access to our personal details. Which makes it a much, much more strenuous task than it has to be, when you want to commit crimes. As I've said a hundred times before, I'm an anarchist. I don't even agree with the concept of government or police. I certainly don't agree with the rights to invasions of privacy that they have been granted. However, Google Street! It's not an invasion of privacy. It's an act of genius. If you haven't tried this thing yet, go back 3 blogs to the 'Back on the mountain' blog. About 2 thirds of the way down the page, I've embedded Google street, in New York City. This thing is fucking awesome. It's almost like walking down the street. I could make blog entries 10 times more life like with this. You'd be able to really know all the areas I'd be talking about in these blogs as I travel. It's awesome.

Well these new entrants to the retard box in Broughton, are trying to ruin this for me. Why? They think that having a picture of your house taken, from a public road, is an invasion of privacy. People will walk down these roads everyday. People will drive down these roads everyday. And are you going to confront them for invasion of privacy because they look in the direction of your house? No. So why is this any different? If you're jacking-off, then draw the curtains. We've all made that mistake. There's no need to try to rob the people of this awesome new Google tool, for looking at the outside of your house. Where exactly is this invasion of privacy? If you're doing something in public, or in view of public areas, then there is no privacy there. Do these things with the curtains closed. And stop pissing me off. Because this thing is fucking awesome. It's because of people like this that I need such a big box.

Now I could... Could carry on going here. I have quite a lot more to say to God. However the task of reading through this blog checking for gramatical errors is already looking daunting enough without having to add to it. I'm already at about 14,500 words, so I don't want to make my life harder than it has to be.

One thing I will say though. I keep on seeing people on Facebook at this time of year, bitching and moaning about their 10,000 word dissertation that they have to hand in, after having 7 months to have written it. Students, they don't know how easy they have it. As a spare time, recreational activity in the time-off from my full-time job, I have written nearly 15,000 words, in HTML, plus multi-media, in the last 3 days. They're moaning about having to write 10,000 words in 7 months? And that's their main activity. Most of them don't even have jobs. Fucking suck it up! Students don't fucking know they're alive. I could see how easy life was when I was a student. Why can't anyone else? 10,000 words! I could do that in one sitting. One day to make up research and find 20 authors who agree with the findings you're going to pretend you've come up with. And one day to write the thing. A dissertation can be done in 2 days. What the fuck are people moaning about? When I was back at Dal 2 years ago, I wrote an 85 page business plan in 2 days and got an A for it. You've just got to stop bitching and moaning and get on with it for fucks sake.

Just backtracking one second actually. I also read this article the other day. I won't go into great detail about why this pisses me off. Because if you've read these blogs before it's pretty selt-explanitory. One quote from the article I will reiterate though, is "... we have given private corporations the legal right to go after our civilians." This again, is a demonstration of government favouring the large corporation. And a glitch in democracy. Surely, if there are 2,000,000 file sharers in Sweden as the article suggests, then it is obvious that the will of the people is for file-sharing to be an accepted activity. Yet the people will be punished for it. This, is an invasion of privacy. It shows a breakdown in democracy. And it pisses me off because it makes it harder to get illegal software online that I'm not willing to pay the thieving prices for that developers will charge. Fucking Sweden. I used to like Sweden. But with this law, and the pending lawsuit against The Pirate Bay, Sweden's going in the box as well. Fucking Sweden.

One last thing. You'll notice now that if you use the search boxes located at the top of many of the pages on this website (including this one), that they no longer search the entire web. Who the fuck would use it for that? I mean, most people nowadays either have a search box already a part of their browser by having a Google or Yahoo toolbar. And failing that, they'll have a link to a seach engine displayed in a bookmark toolbar (as I do), so that it is only one click away. Why, therefore, would anyone use a search box at the top of this website to search the web? I don't think they would. So now I've made these boxes search only Jro's World.

It's not a perfect system, as not every page is yet listed with Google. And the number of pages listed can seemingly fluctuate somewhat. However, it's better than having some useless, redundant search bar up there, which provided little more than decoration.

One problem is that I haven't figured out if there's a way to display this about the seach bar, without having to change every single page individually. So it might have to just stay looking the same. But now you'll know because I've told you.

Another slight problem is that over 2,000 pages from the photo gallery are listed. So you can get bogged down by them as well. But if you've read about something in a previous blog that I've written and you want to relocate it. Or you just want to see if I've written about something at any point, although not a perfect system, this search bar could make life a lot easier.

For example, if you search 'Mexico', then you'll get a large number of the pages on this site relevant to Mexico. Or searching something a little less obvious, like 'God is a Cunt' for example. And you get 5 results. It's that simple.

Man, I could write forever. But I want to get this blog entry online. So finally... finally, this blog is DONE!

Retard box

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