As for the travelling

When I wrote that blog yesterday, I was pretty drugged up. On Rockstar energy drink no less. So I think you'll agree that I cannot be held accountable for my actions. In fact, what I produced yesterday, is probably a good advert as to why you don't take drugs and write blog entries. But despite the fact that that entry had nearly zero to do with my travelling, I was quite pleased that I wrote it. Back in the blog I wrote on December 12th, I detailed how, what was important in keeping these blogs, wasn't organising the infinite detail of what I was doing as I was travelling. I'd like these blogs to be a skeleton reminder of my travels. But if something isn't prominant enough that I can't remember it when prompted, then it probably isn't worth knowing about at all. What I want from these blog entries, is to record the values that I hold, at progressive times in my travelling. To see how I change. And to be able to recall the values that I once had. So although it may not have been too light-hearted, it was exactly the information that I want to record in these blogs. That energy drink just sent my brain into overdrive, and I had the mental capacity to produce a document that dove a lot deeper than I otherwise would have done. That being said, it didn't really relate to my travelling in the slightest. So this entry will be a much shorter, much more light-hearted account of what I've been getting up to. No assessments of the morality of murder or any of that kind of crap.

In an attempt to gain some kind of response to the blog that I wrote yesterday, I did this morning submit an edited version to the BBC message boards in the section of ethics and freethought. And for some reason, the BBC thinks of freethought, as one word. I also find it ironic, that in a discussion about freethought, I had to heavily edit my document so it did not offend. I also find it funny, how in a discussion about freethought, the message board closes at night-time, because there will be no moderators present to monitor responses. Kind of ironic that. At the time of closing today, can you believe I don't have any responses? That may be something to do with the fact that my post has over 5,500 words. More than my independent study at university (damn Rockstar). Where as most posts within the forum, seem to have more in the region of one or two hundred words. So I'm not sure how many people will be willing to read this rather large document. But I thought it was worth a shot. To try and ignite some kind of angry response from someone. And if nothing else, present me with the opportunity to promote this website a little.

Outside of writing blog entries, this morning I finally... finally, got to the gym again. Nearly a month since I got back from Calgary, pledging to get myself back on the right track again, I finally made an appearance. Not all my fault that it took so long. Last week I couldn't go because of an injured finger. And even today, I had to hold dumbells with the index finger on my right hand pointing straight out, it still hurts so damn much. Making me think it could even be a cracked bone or something like that. Who cares though. I'll heal myself. I always do. One problem with this finger injury though; I can't get through the front door. The lock at this place is shit. It has been for a while. And we've told the landlords about it, and they've neglected to take any action. But it's so fidgety, that you need 2 hands to unlock the door. One to wiggle the key, and one to jimmy the door-knob. The problem that I have is that my injured finger is required to wiggle the key, because the position of the door-frame means that I can't just switch hands. The bottom-line: I haven't got in through my front door for nearly 2 weeks now. Since the Sunday before last think. Most of the time, Greg lets me in, because, well... he has no life. So he's here most of the time. But in the 3 or 4 occasions since I hurt my finger that he's not been here, I've had to climb in through the kitchen window. I would call the landlords to tell them to sort it the fuck out... but I put my phone through the washing machine. So for me at the moment, the kitchen window is my new front door. I either have the choice of spending 10 minutes trying to get through the door, giving up, and then climbing through the window. Or just taking off the mosquito net, sliding open the window, and climbing through. Takes about 30 seconds. I don't even bother trying the door anymore. I know it'll take longer, so I just bypass it. In fact, even before I hurt my finger, it would have taken longer than the 30 seconds that it takes me to get through the window, to open the door. So I just wish that I'd known that I could get through the window sooner.

Back to the gym though. I had a thought when I was there. You know how yesterday, I was blaming my work routine for the reason that I don't have the mental capacity to write to the same degree that I did before I came out here. Well what if it wasn't my routine that was killing me? What if it was my lack of exercise that was the difference? Is it a sign that I thought of this, at the gym, whilst exercising. Maybe it's not my routine. Maybe, in fact, my loss of fitness since I left England, is the reason that I haven't had the motivation or the brain-power, to produce blog entries to the calibre that I was doing before I left. At least in my opinion. And certainly not with the same frequency. I'm just throwing it out there. Maybe exercise is the key to increased mental strength. Or maybe it's my diet? I don't eat terribly here. I have some fruit in my diet, although very little veg. But I'm not as disciplined in what I eat as I was before I left. The way items are packaged here, it's impossible to compare the nutritional values without a calculator. Unlike back home, every product doesn't have nutrition per 100g, or 100ml. Instead it has it per serving. But one product might consider a serving size to be 15g. And a comparable product considers a serving size to be 17g. So you then need to compare these 2 products, of something like, 3.2g of fat per 15g serving for one. And 3.5g of fat per 17g serving for the other. It's impossible to be able to just glance at a product and decide which is healthier. And the differences in such numbers might seem anal. But considering the amount I eat everyday, a little bit, can make a lot of difference. 4 meals in the first 2 hours after I got back from the gym in fact, my body was craving calories so badly. Plus food is much more expensive over here, so you just go for the cheapest option. It all adds up to me not eating remotely as well as I was before I left. So maybe that was the reason that I haven't been able to produce any kind of regular document comparable to what I was producing before I left. Who knows? All I know is that now I've started on my road to recovery. And it is a recovery. Being out of shape and unhealthy might not be classed as a disease, but it has similar implications. In fact it's like a pre-disease. You stay in shape and eat well, and you don't get ill. At least a lot less often anyway. You get fat and eat shit, and you're prone to catching all sorts of crap. So getting out of shape, you could say, is removing one of the initial barriers to getting sick. So it might not actually be a disease. But the implications are the same. So now I'm on the road to recovery, with a grand total of 1 trips to the gym, I'm not turning back. I think back to how, before I left, I walked 30 miles in a day, just because I felt like it. How I went out running, to run 7 miles, but ended up doing 14, just because I could. I can't do that kind of stuff now. I can't just walk 30 miles because I want to. And I just don't feel as healthy inside. So no turning back for me now. I want to get back to where I was before I left. I don't know why I let myself slide in the first place. I guess a lack of time after spending all my free time skiing. But it hasn't snowed in so long here, that I don't really plan to go skiing in much of my spare time now. To a certain extent, I'm just over it. At the start, skiing was like a drug to me. But now I know this mountain so well, and I've done nearly every run it has to offer, that skiing down Panorama mountain to me now, provides little more thrill than walking down the street. The 'wow' factor's gone. So I should have at least 2 days off per week, to get myself to the gym. And then maybe once or twice after work per week. 3 or 4 visits to the gym per week, I deem as acceptable. I'd be able to get myself back into shape on that.

I have plenty more I could write about here. But some days, you just don't feel it. Sometimes, I can sit down and write. And it flows. And when I read it back again, it reads well. And other days, it's just really sticky. There is no flow. Like today. And although I haven't read any of this blog back over again, I don't anticipate being too enthralled with what I've written. So maybe after work tomorrow I'll be in a better frame of mind, and I can produce something a little better. But you've got to know when you're flogging a dead horse. And this just isn't cutting it tonight. So I'm going to stop, rather than put myself through any more. Maybe I need more Rockstar.

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